Ugly Girl Read online

  When he shoved the damp off-white square at me, I stared at it blankly. “I thought you didn’t carry these around.”

  “I don’t. There will be no mention of this, and if you start blubbering again, don’t look at me to give it back to you.”

  I gulped, taking the offering and dabbing at my cheeks. It was like Bastien had seen other guys act like a gentleman, but had no idea how to pull off the routine organically. “Thank you?” I considered blowing my nose loudly into the material just to be a jerk, but decided on the high road and handed it back to him after a quick obliteration of any tear tracks. “You didn’t have to do that.”

  Bastien nodded and put the handkerchief back into his pocket. “I don’t like it when you cry,” he admitted. “You’ve got this look that makes me… Just don’t. Caring about how all of this affects you doesn’t get the job done, and that’s what we’ve got to do. Do you understand?”

  “You’re saying that you would care that my life got dumped out and broken into a million pieces if there wasn’t a world to save?”

  Bastien reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair that had come loose from my bun behind my ear. He didn’t say anything, but met my eyes with a look that told me he wanted to know my secrets, yet tell me none of his. He had that guarded way about him that warned all who attempted to penetrate his thick exterior not to bother trying. “Reyn says I’m not good with people. That I need to be nicer.”

  “Nice isn’t a bad thing.”

  “It doesn’t get the job done,” Bastien argued, though I couldn’t tell you why.

  “Depends on the job. If you want us to work well together, you might want to dust off those manners and give not being a jackass a try.”

  Bastien snorted at what he wrongfully assumed was a joke. “Okay, then. I should probably ask you to stay close instead of yelling at you that everywhere you go, you might be in danger.”

  “Asking instead of yelling is always a good thing. Might even be in that ridiculous ‘nice’ category Reyn was talking about.”

  Bastien shoved his hands in his pockets, looking down as he tried to find the words. “Walk with me? I know you don’t want me hovering, but I’m worried too many people are looking for you. I don’t like you out of my sight. You may not like me, but you’ll live longer if you stay by my side.”

  “Careful,” I warned, the corner of my lips curving upward. “That was pretty nice. Next thing you know, you’ll be throwing around words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.”

  “Let’s not get carried away.” Bastien extended his arm to me, breathing easier when I slowly moved to his side. He exhaled as his hand found the small of my back, as if protecting me soothed some unrest inside of him. That small touch was a constant reminder of his mammoth strength as we walked forward to catch up with the others. The mountains in the distance were enormous, and towered over nature with a foreboding air that felt suspiciously like doom. After Armand’s attack, and then Silvain’s, I began to see spots where bad guys could conceal themselves as they waited for us to have our guard down. For all his antagonism, I was grateful for Bastien’s protection. Though he didn’t like anything about me, he was bent on making sure I got through all of this alive. I moved tighter into his side, my eyes darting around the dusty landscape warily.

  When we made it to the well, we gathered around and watched as Bastien picked up three rocks nearby and threw them in one by one. The well was old, and it was so deep I couldn’t see the bottom of it, or even where the water came up to. I heard the first plop and saw a glow light up and then fade, revealing stagnant green water several stories down into the earth. I looked at Lane to make sure this was the way in, but she was still peering down into the deep abyss. “Ro, could you tell the rats to get out of there? It really creeps me out.”

  “Rats?” I bent over the edge of the well and squinted down, but couldn’t see anything. “Hey, guys? Could you give us a few minutes? Then you can have your house back. Promise.” It took some time, but eventually the scurrying feet found their way to the surface. Twenty-seven rats in all came out of the well, all in various states of covered in fungus. “Aw, guys! You really shouldn’t live down there. It’s too wet, and you’ll get sick.” I listened while they squeaked to me that there were vultures that swooped down and tried to eat them when they were out in the open. I saw the glassy film over their eyes and knew they couldn’t see well enough to know there were trees not too far off. “Hamish, could you show them a good tree to hide in? They can’t see their way.”

  “Okay, but only if you promise you won’t leave without me. This is my adventure, too.” Hamish was tired of parking lot life. Unlike Judah, he didn’t have anyone waiting for him back home.

  “Go ahead. I’ll wait.”

  “I don’t care how fine Reyn is with it, we’re not taking your critter to Faîte,” Bastien ruled, his hand migrating to the small of my back again.

  “Funny that you think you have any sort of say in what I do. Hamish stays with me. I don’t need to ask for permission to be who I am,” I reminded him calmly.

  Reyn drew up the ropes from the pulley system that hung above the well, revealing not a bucket but a wooden board stretched across two ropes like a small swing. “Bastien and I signed out, so there can only be two of us that come back. Our man knows to report only two coming back, but that means only two trips can happen. I’ll take Lane down. Bastien, can you handle taking Rosie? Can the two of you fit?”

  Bastien nodded, and I swear I could almost hear his internal gulp that matched mine. Reyn took his time figuring out the best way to get two adults on the thin board. The well wasn’t all that wide, so space was an issue to consider. He finally settled on straddling the board so Lane would have a little more security. Bastien held her hand and guided her onto the board, her hands shaking and feet uncertain as she slid onto the space between his legs, her back to his stomach. Every movement sent down an echo that told us all just how steep the drop was. There seemed to be a skyscraper of distance between the grass and the underworld. Lane shot me the best look of forced bravery she could muster as she gripped the rope. Her shaking subsided a little when Reyn’s arm slipped around her slender waist to keep her from wobbling. He looked over at me and winked, knowing exactly the moves he was putting on my aunt, and the likelihood she’d fall for them. They were cute smooshed together on the swing.

  Bastien cast Reyn a serious look of warning. “Don’t use any magic to try and conceal her, Reyn. I’m serious. It won’t do to have you lose it halfway home.”

  “I’ve got this,” Reyn replied through gritted teeth. There was something to Bastien’s worry about Reyn’s ability to wield magic that I planned on poking into later.

  Reyn waited until Lane stopped shaking, and then used the pulley system on top to slowly lower them down. Their heads disappeared as Reyn made a joke I couldn’t decipher, and Lane gave a nervous giggle in answer. I imagined the well mutating into a monster’s mouth, devouring them whole, like a trap set up in a video game. Bastien and I both watched them as they went down into the dark, holding our breaths as several minutes ticked by.

  18

  Well Wishes for Kisses

  Hamish climbed up my body and peered over the edge, expressing his concern over how deep the well was. “You can always stay here, Hamish,” I told him, but I knew he wasn’t having any of that kind of talk.

  “He should stay here.”

  I ignored Bastien. We waited until the bottom lit up with a green glow. Bastien informed me that was the sign they’d made it safely to the other side. Bastien pulled up the swing, and I could tell his arm was bugging him. “You alright? Your stitches holding up?”

  “Yeah. Your medicine’s different than ours, so I’ll give it another look when we get back. It’s fine, though. Just stings a little.” When the swing finally appeared above the top of the well, it looked smaller than it had when Reyn sat on it. Instead of going sideways, Bastien took his time situating himself as if he was swi
nging under a tree on a summer’s day in sunny Montana. His feet were on the lip of the well, and his hand was beneath him on the opposite side of the stone circumference. I hoped this would make for a steady seat I was expected to climb on. “Come on. Nice and slow.”

  “I gotcha, Ro.” Judah held my hand, giving me a reassuring nod that he wouldn’t let me fall to my death.

  I met my bestie’s eyes and swallowed hard. Heights. Not my favorite. In fact, it was my super least favorite.

  “It’s just like anything else. You do it, and then it’s done,” Judah assured me.

  I chewed on my lower lip as I climbed up to stand on the stones that had been flattened on the top, but were not quite level enough to let me catch my balance with any sort of confidence. Though I liked to think of myself as decently athletic, I began to understand why Lane had been so shaky on the precipice. I was only four feet off the ground, but the drop in the middle was a whole tall building’s worth of difference. I tried to tell my feet where to go, but there wasn’t any room on the seat for me. The possibility of a quick death flustered my cool.

  Bastien leaned back, offering his lap. “Just one step, and you’re here. I’ll catch you if you slip, alright?”

  I nodded, too scared to tell him that I didn’t trust his ability to catch me if I turned into Olive Oyl during the precarious step. I felt a slight breeze that teased me, threatening to push me in. “There’s nowhere for me to step but on you!”

  “It’s fine. Just aim for anywhere that’s not my face, and you’re good.”

  Hamish chanted encouraging words to me, taking on the role of being my own personal cheerleader, echoing Judah’s, “It’s alright, Rosie. We won’t let you fall.”

  I started narrating my actions so Bastien knew what to expect. “Okay, I’m stepping on your thigh, then, just for a second until I get situated.”

  “That’s good. You won’t fall, little Daisy,” Bastien teased me with a playful smirk. Then he met my eyes with a promise. “I’ve got you.”

  I froze, and something important and warm flooded through my chest, melting any stoic and cold parts of me. I don’t know why I needed to hear that small vow, but it unwound some part of me that needed somewhere safe to rest.

  I grabbed onto the steel bar that held the pulley system over his head and used it to lower myself down as slowly as I could, melting onto his body and threading my legs inside the ropes, so my thighs wrapped around his waist. My hands looped around his shoulders in a hug, and my trembling ankles locked at the small of his back. Hamish made me look like a fool when he scurried up the bar, down the rope and onto Bastien’s shoulder, and then hopped onto my knee with no qualms whatsoever. Bastien grumbled, “Seriously? I said we weren’t bringing him.”

  “He can’t understand you.” Okay, that was a lie, but I didn’t have the brain space to argue just then. I was too focused on not plummeting to my early death.

  Judah tried to iron out the anxiety in his eyes, but I caught the fear he could never hide from me. “Hey, be safe, Ro. Call me the second you get back. I’ll take care of your stuff and make sure you have a bed to sleep in when fall semester starts.”

  I gave him a look that told him just how scared I was that I might never see him again. “I love you, Judah.”

  Judah touched his heart, watching me with too many years of knowing me to let things trail off without a proper goodbye. “I love you, too, Rosie. You’re my best... You know.”

  “I know. You should go. I can handle it from here, Pimp Daddy.”

  “Okay. See you soon, Hot Mama.” He steeled himself, like he was going to say something else, but deflated, waving as he turned and jogged toward the car.

  I was shaking, my forehead buried in Bastien’s sternum with my eyes closed before we’d made the first move downward. When Bastien raised his arms above my head to start lowering us, something happened and the swing jerked to the side. “Whoa!” Bastien cried out, rocking backward on the seat a few inches as I screamed. He righted us in the next breath and wrapped an arm around me, clutching me tight to his chest. “Hey, I was only kidding. I don’t know why I thought that’d be funny. We’re fine. It’s all fine. I’ve got you.” He rubbed my back, scooting me up his body so my head rested on his shoulder.

  “Don’t do that to me!” I gripped him tighter, wishing I could slap him without the possibility of death by well. Not that I could unclench anyway. I was so racked with fear that I couldn’t let go of him if my life depended on it. “I’ll cry, Bastien! I’ll do it, I swear! I’ll cry all over you right now and make you so uncomfortable you’ll wish you never messed with me!”

  “Deadly threat, that is.” There was a tease in his tone, and I could tell he was smiling, though I couldn’t open my eyes to see it. He pulled his head back to watch me. “Hey, look at me.” When I shook my head into his meaty shoulder, he started rubbing up my spine until his hand reached my cheek. His other hand held the rope that kept us from plummeting. I felt the rough pad of his thumb stroking my face. It was nice – so nice that I exhaled a portion of my nerves, deflating slightly in his half-embrace. Bastien being sweet to me was so confusing that I didn’t focus so much on the impending doom or the slight breeze that made me feel like I was standing on top of a skyscraper. All I could feel was his thumb tracing the side of my face down my jaw. When I lifted my head to look up at him, he caressed my lower lip, watching the curve with a fascination that made me blush. No man had ever touched me like that. Finally his eyes met mine, and I saw no trace of the antagonistic tool who loved to make things harder for me.

  I couldn’t feel the breeze anymore, though I knew it was still there. All I felt was his breath on my lips when he lowered his mouth to rest an inch from mine. Cinnamon. His breath was a cinnamon intoxicant, and I was getting drunk off the allure. His arm wrapped back around me, and my heart picked up a new rhythm it didn’t know, and had never practiced. It was uneven and had no clear thread of direction I could grab onto, so I held tight to Bastien, hanging in midair while we breathed in each other’s confusion.

  When he finally closed the gap between us, I let out a pathetic whimper when the side of his mouth grazed mine. It wasn’t a kiss, but it was something. Something too big and messy to look at up close. But Bastien stayed close, rubbing his cheek to mine, his stubble scraping my skin and sending a thrill through my spine. His piney scent was concentrated in the crook of his neck, so I took a chance and breathed him in, flooding myself with thoughts of Christmas and presents and happiness. The Christmas muted out the mustiness of the well below that I could feel nipping at my toes. He pressed a slow, melty kiss to my heated cheek, his sculpted lips teasing me and turning me to Jell-O. He was a sexy lumberjack, and way out of my league. I nearly lost myself when he whispered in my ear a quiet, velvety and deep, “I’ve got you, little Daisy.”

  Confusion tornadoed with lust inside of me. I didn’t know what to do with any of it, so I simply clung to him and nodded.

  His left arm reached to the side to work the pulley with one hand, while his right arm remained fixed around me, holding me close as we started our descent. Every few feet he stopped, holding us steady while he paused to kiss a different part of my face, always missing my lips and lighting a bigger fire in me that I couldn’t begin to get ahold of. He was so mean, but here he was in the dead of the dark, holding us in limbo so he could steal a few seconds to almost kiss me. It was romantic, which I didn’t think he’d had a whole lot of experience with. Sex, sure. I mean, dude was ripped and gorgeous in that dangerous motorcycle cowboy “Sure, you can fool around with my girlfriends, and I’ll forgive you” kind of way. But romance? I didn’t think he had the softness in him.

  “I can tell you’re blushing,” he whispered in his husky manner, like he was calling out my secret that was supposed to be thoroughly hidden in the dark.

  “You cannot. It’s too dark down here.”

  His teeth captured the apple of my cheekbone, and I shivered. His bite slid off and mutated into a
kiss to my cheek that made my lashes flutter. “I can feel the heat in your cheeks. So much heat.”

  It was cold and dank in the cylindrical stone prison, but my body was on fire. A thrill raced through me at the small bite. It felt like finally living, after a lifetime of pretending I had no libido, just to escape the crushing loneliness that came from never ever ever ever being asked on a date. I was the dude friend, the asexual teammate, and yet Bastien had me practically purring as I straddled him on the swing like a stripper. “You’re driving me crazy,” I admitted into the black when his nose traced a line down my neck and up the other side, making my head loll back.

  “Then I’m doing it exactly right.”

  Right, but it was all wrong. My eyes flew open and I stiffened out of the seduction. “But it’s not right. You’re engaged.” I shook my head as he deflated, and took the moment along with him.

  “But you know it’s a sham. Rachelle doesn’t even know we’re betrothed. It’s hardly as scandalous as you’re thinking. No one can see us in here.”

  “I can barely think straight right now, but I know I can’t have my first kiss be with a guy who’s got a fiancée.”

  “Wait, what? Your first kiss? You mean our first kiss, right?”

  I cringed and buried my face into his shoulder to escape his scrutiny. “No, my first kiss. I’ve never kissed a guy before.”

  “But you’re twenty-two! You’re… Have you seen you?”

  A smile played on my lips. “Thanks. But I didn’t start looking like this until last week. I never found the right guy, and now it’s built up into this big deal thing. I don’t want to cut that ribbon just yet with a guy who’s promised to someone else. Conscious or not, I don’t want to move in on someone else’s man. That’s not me.” I clung to him, suddenly afraid he might throw me off into the abyss. “Could we not talk about this right now? I’m like, vulnerable on top of terrified on top of bursting into flames. You’re really screwing with my brain, here.”