Torture (Terraway Book 3) Read online

  “You raised me. You break it, you bought it.” My voice lowered, and I loathed that I had a weakness for this sort of thing. “Put pressure on the wound and get him to the emergency room right now, Judge. I mean it. And don’t call with stuff like this again. I’ll help family, not criminals. Call me next time someone shoots you in the head for being a jerk. Then I’ll come running with Band-Aids and whatnot.” I hung up before Judge could eke out another word that would break my heart. “I’m just going to kill him.”

  “Easy, now. Tell me where he lives. I’ll take care of him for you,” Mason offered as Ollie handed the phone back to me.

  “He lives on his own planet of subjective morality. It’s fine. Just annoying. And insulting, come to think of it.”

  I started eating, sitting in between Mason and Von with Mason’s hand on my back and Von’s leg looped over mine so our thighs touched. Ollie looked over our arrangement with a frown he didn’t bother hiding. “This is dysfunctional. How long does this last?”

  I swallowed my bite of food along with the lump in my throat. “We’re doing the whole thing with the sagrado stone so Mariang and I don’t have to reap so much. Right now we have to do seven souls a day between us. After the stone business is handled? We can do one a day total, and that’s that. I don’t guess I’ll need both Pullers then, but I don’t really know. That’s all down the road.”

  Mason and Von both chewed more slowly. “We’ll always be your Reapers, Peach. Our threesome just means that Mason or I can take a week off here and there, and it’s fine. That’s after the stone’s in place, of course.”

  Mason squeezed my shoulder, trying to communicate something to me I needed actual words for. But all he said was, “We should put more food in our packs this time.”

  I ignored the waves of impending complications, hoping they would resolve themselves before I had to deal with them. I would’ve thought they would be relieved not to be chained to my side until their dying breaths, but they both looked like I’d told them they were ugly.

  We finished breakfast enough for twenty people and packed up the car. I tried to take Ollie’s backpack out of the trunk, but he was resolute. “I’m coming with you. Don’t you dare try to fight me on this.” He held onto my shoulders, making sure I was looking right at him. “Before any of this, it was you, me and Allie. Now it’s you and me, alright? No matter what, I’m in this as long as you are. Where you go, I go.”

  “What are you, her father?” Von asked, shooting off at the mouth and shooting himself in the foot.

  Ollie straightened, pulling the keys out of his pocket. He had the only other key to Terence, which spoke worlds of the absolute trust we had in each other. “Yeah, that’s right. I’m her father. I’m her brother. I’m her mother. I’m her doctor. I’m her teacher. I’m her mechanic. I was the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus and anything else she needed to get to where she is today. I won’t leave her for you two to look after.”

  I tilted my head down. “Ollie, I’m all grown up now. It’s okay to let go. I’ll come back home to you.”

  He stared at me and then jerked me into a tight hug that told me exactly how scared he was for me. “You have no idea the things that went through my head when you missed your check-in. I’m not going to worry like that again. No. It’s you and me, and we’re not going out any other way. I worked too hard to keep you alive to get careless now. I already lost Allie. I’m not losing you!”

  I wrapped my arms around Ollie, grateful that the guys got in the car to give us a moment. “Hey, it’s alright. Okay. If you want to come along, you can take it up with Ezra. You’re not losing me. I’m just going on a little camping trip. Nothing as fun as ours used to be, but it’ll have to do.”

  Ollie let out a one-noted laugh filled with too many nerves. “You think they’ll tell ghost stories and make up fake constellations that look like butts?”

  “If you’re there, yeah. You make everything better.” Then it dawned on me that I’d consented without meaning to. “You’re really coming?” I tried to swallow my dread and focus on the positives. “That might be fun. I’ve missed you so much. The phone’s not the same.”

  Ollie squeezed me tight, and I began to realize that he needed me as much as I needed him. “Oh, kid. You have no idea.”

  35

  Shock and All the Special Things

  Of all the things I wished for, visiting Bev’s trailer before going to Terraway wasn’t on my list. Ezra called on the way and said he was going to meet us there so he could surprise Bev and see her place for the first time. Needless to say, I had a strong desire to shred through the backs of my hands. Mason held my left hand in the backseat while Von held my right wrist. Ollie wasn’t a fan of all the hovering they did, but after several reminders, he understood it was all just part of the job. “You can really get her to stop scratching her hands?" he asked as he turned the car onto Bev’s street.

  My anxiety rose more than the normal throat-choke because Ollie was there. I knew they would fight; they always did. I could rely on Bev saying something mean to me that I had to pretend I didn’t hear. I only wish there weren’t witnesses to the hurricane we were about to walk into. Mason had already seen my childhood home, but Von had only heard stories. “Maybe just Ollie and I should go in. I mean, it’ll be so boring inside.”

  Mason squeezed my hand. “I can feel your anxiety shooting through the roof. It’s okay. I’ve seen it all before, remember?”

  “I don’t want to do this!” I squeezed out, my voice threatening to lock down.

  Ollie parked the car and turned in his seat, giving me his most serious business face. “Hey, we’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. This place isn’t us. This trailer has nothing to do with who we are. It’s a pile of garbage, and nothing more.” He paused, making sure I was paying attention. “Are you a pile of garbage?”

  I swallowed, imprinting his words in my mind. “No, Ollie.”

  He snapped his fingers twice to make sure I wasn’t drifting off in my mind. I was never thrilled when he did that, though it was effective. “That’s right. You’re my kid, not hers. You’ve got a degree, a house, friends, no debt—”

  I held up my hands. “I get it. I don’t need the pep talk. I just don’t want them to… Guys, could you wait here? We’ll be in and out.”

  Ollie shook his head in time with Mason. “No. They’re in your life. This is the pit of it. If they’re supposed to know everything about you to keep you safe or whatever, they need to know about Bev. They need to see how dangerous she is if she’s given an inch.”

  My eyebrows furrowed when Ezra’s sleek black car saddled up next to ours. “Fine. Whatever. Let’s get this over with.” I pointed my finger in Ollie’s face. “For the record, there’s no forgiveness for what we’re doing.”

  “We’re saving Ezra! I thought you liked him.”

  “I do, but we’re ruining Bev. Like it or not, she’s your mama. You’re supposed to protect your family.”

  “Never once has she protected you. Don’t stick up for her. I’m telling you, I can’t take it today.”

  “She’s sick, Ollie. We’re not. We know better; she doesn’t. Big difference. We’re taking someone good away from a sick woman.”

  Ollie’s voice lowered. “She deserves what she gets for being the way she is.”

  I paused before taking Mason’s offered hand after he slid out of the car. My voice was quiet, which to Ollie was worse than me yelling. “You raised me better than that. Better than payback. No matter what, she’s still our mama.”

  Ollie opened his mouth to argue, but closed it again, slumping in his seat. “You can be right about that, but this is still necessary.”

  Mason took my hand and helped me out of the car, saying nothing of my trembling fingers. “We’re right here,” he assured me.

  For some reason, that only made me feel worse. “Hold on a second.” I turned back and slid into the car again after Ollie got out, shutting myself with Von in the
backseat.

  “It’ll be fine, Peach. Really. Your mum loved me the time we met, and she’ll get used to Mason’s surly mug in time.”

  “It’s not that. You know how you didn’t want people to find out all that awful stuff Prince Julius made you do to pay off Boston’s gambling debts in Dagat?”

  Von’s expression darkened as he ducked to make sure our conversation had no chance of being overheard. “I thought we agreed we didn’t need to talk about that anymore unless I brought it up.”

  “I know, and I’m not talking about it really.” I motioned to the trailer. “This is my secret shame. This is everything that’s wrong with me, and I don’t want you to see it.”

  Von softened, his shoulders lowering and his head tilting to the side. “Hani, I promise I won’t think less of you. Mason told me everything; it’s Bev’s dysfunction, not yours.”

  “But it is my dysfunction! How would you feel if someone forced you to talk about all you had to go through? You chose to tell me that stuff. Aren’t you glad you had that choice?” Von looked up at the ceiling to avoid my pleading eyes. “Please, Von. Just wait in the car for this. I’m begging you. I’d send Mason back, too, but he’s already seen it, and I know ya’ll won’t be thrilled with me going anywhere by myself this late in the game. Please just let me have this one thing.”

  “What are you afraid of?”

  “Other than tetanus? I’m afraid you’ll take one look at my childhood and think that’s who I am! I’m afraid you’ll think I’m garbage and you’ll throw me away, and that would kill me. Everyone else can, but not you. I need for just you to not look at me like I’m garbage.”

  “I would never.” He cupped my face so my vision was filled with his sincere pledge. “You told me I’m your treasure? You’re mine, darling. My shiny, strong and beautiful treasure. Nothing in that trailer could change that.”

  I closed my eyes, lest I look at him for one more second and burst into tears. “Please, Von. Please give me this one thing.”

  Von let out a long and loud gust of air through pursed lips, bathing my face in cigars and mint. “If it’s that big a deal to you, I get it. I can wait out here.” I thought he would drop his hands, but he cupped my chin with a gentle, stern grip so he could look into my eyes that jerked open. “But listen good, sweet Peach. We’re in this for the long haul. At some point you’re going to have to let me in more than this. I think I’ve earned the right to at least be let in through the front door.”

  It was hard to talk when I couldn’t move my chin, but I managed. “Bev’s front door doesn’t open all the way.” I shrugged, offering him a weak smile. “That was a little metaphor joke.”

  “Clever little college girl.” He brought my face forward and smooched my lips. “Go on. I’ll wait here like the good dog I am.”

  “Thanks, Von. You’re my best friend, you know.”

  “Tell it to the backseat I’m stuck in. Hurry up. Ezra’s looking impatient. Gets downright unpleasant when he’s anxious. Starts saying “No, thank you,’ instead of ‘No, thank you, kind woman.’ Surly git.”

  I got out and shut Von in the car, breathing fifteen percent easier now there was one less person surprising Bev. I went to the trunk and pulled out gloves for everyone and a brave smile that looked more like a grimace of pain than actual happiness.

  I waved at Sandy when he came into view, but my dog ran away from me, which was unusual. The pit bull next door loved me, and had never acted afraid of anything. I could tell he didn’t like the look of Ezra or Mason. I blew him a kiss and let him have his space, though I wished for his sloppy kisses right now more than anything.

  “You ready for it?” Ollie asked me, not caring how Ezra and Mason felt about the whole thing.

  “Do it to it,” I replied, hunching my shoulders and moving to the trailer that groaned with too much emotional and physical baggage. “I’m sorry,” I whispered to Ezra. “I really did like you.”

  Ezra was in nice gray dress pants that looked too expensive to be worn by a real person, brown leather shoes, a brown belt and a crisp blue dress shirt with thin white pinstripes. “I won’t desert you,” he promised, though I doubted how accurate this vow would be after he saw the woman he loved as she truly was.

  I paused at the door, swearing under my breath about thirty times before banging my fist to the flimsy glass pane. I knocked four times before I heard a cry coming from inside the trailer. It wasn’t a cry of distress, but more a moan of pure loss. “Bev? You okay?” I opened the door, expecting to only be able to force it the usual one and a half feet open so I could slip inside. I was shocked and confused when the door opened all the way.

  My eyes intended to do a quick sweep of what used to be a living room, but my gaze froze when the mountains of garbage, trinkets, broken toys, clothes and rotting food only amounted to mere hills of crap. The narrow passageway lined with stacks of newspaper, towels and brown things that didn’t use to be brown was now wider, and would allow even Mason to walk through to Bev’s bedroom near the back of the trailer.

  I covered my mouth and let out a muffled shriek. “Bev? Bev!” I faintly heard her crying inside, but couldn’t see her. If what looked to be a third of her treasures were gone, I couldn’t imagine her mental state. “Ollie, she’s been robbed! Bev, hold tight! I’m here! I’m coming! I’m so sorry, Bev! I shouldn’t have stopped coming by for our weekly visits. This is all my fault! Are you hurt?”

  “No, October! You’ll wait outside.” Ollie insisted, letting Mason pull me out of the house so Ollie could step inside. His hand went over his mouth to muffle his outcry, as well. Though Ollie hadn’t been home in years, the drastic change was not lost on him. “If she really has been robbed, they could still be in here. Get October away from the trailer, Mason!”

  I whirled on Mason, jerking my arm from his grip. “Don’t you dare ‘tiny little woman’ me. I used to fight inmates before you came along. That’s my mama in there!”

  “Give us a minute,” Ezra said, his hand on my shoulder. Ezra followed in behind Ollie, grimacing at the stench you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but it was a swirling aroma of animal feces, tuna and mold. You know, the stench of childhood. “Ho! What’s happened here? Burglars did this?” Ezra ran back out, his eyes watering. He drew in semi-clean air as if the trailer park was the sweetest thing he’d ever smelled.

  I gotta tell you, it’s not.

  “No. Robbers cleaned it. Let me through.” I shook off Mason and bolted into the house after Ollie. “Bev! I’m here. Come on out. I know you must be mad, but I promise you, Ollie and I didn’t do this.” I kept my arms up just in case she flew out at me and aimed for my face. “I would never steal your treasures, Bev.”

  Ollie waved me over, a dark look of powering through clouding his features. “What did they do to you? Did you see their faces? We’ll file a report first thing.”

  I moved slowly to Ollie’s side, gasping at Bev’s besotted state. I’d never seen her with no makeup, but there she was – tearstains down her face, old sweats I’d never seen her in before and wreaking of rum. She was drunk, her pupils unfocused and her hand slow as she reached for Ollie from the floor. She’d built herself a fort out of folded towels – some new and some too old and disgusting to be anything but fodder for rats’ nests. Her blonde hair hadn’t been combed in days, and she smelled like… Well, I could smell her beneath the stench of the rotting trailer and the booze, which was saying something.

  “Did I do this?” Bev asked, clutching the bottle of rum like it was a precious puppy. “Was it all real?”

  Ollie fought hard to keep his fight face intact. We’d never seen Bev with a hair out of place. In the land of refuse, she was the perfect Barbie doll who stood tall and much, much too proud. “Let’s get you some fresh air,” Ollie offered. I was surprised he was being so civil. He was gentle as he lifted her off the floor, pausing when she cried out.

  “My foot! I stepped in some glass yesterday, and I can’t get it all out of
my foot!” Her cries brought Ezra back inside to brave the elements, though he was too stunned to make it past the entrance.

  It was then I noticed Bev wasn’t wearing shoes – a serious no-no inside the trailer. “Oh! You’re bleeding! What happened?”

  Her cheery pink sock was stained through with a thick puff of blood. She cried harder as she leaned on Ollie. “I woke up a few days ago and saw the trailer like this, so I started cleaning. Throwing things out.” She sobbed loudly. “The things I did to you both! Why would you ever come back here? I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m a horrible person!”

  Ollie reared back as if he’d slapped her. Bev’s apology hit me like a crack across the face with her leather belt she’d gotten on sale for $9.99. The apology was shocking and somehow hurtful, though I couldn’t pinpoint why.

  Ollie held up his hands slowly after Bev was able to balance on one leg. “Alright. Um, I don’t know what to do with that, so let’s start with the basics. How’d you hurt yourself?”

  Bev’s pink face pulled with what actually looked like self-loathing. I’d never seen her do that emotion, so I couldn’t be sure. “I stepped on a broken bottle and cut my foot. I haven’t been able to get up, and I can’t find the charger for my phone! I called you!” she accused, and then turned mournful again. “I called you, October Grace, but you didn’t come! You shouldn’t have come. I can’t believe you came! I’m horrible! I’m a monster!”

  “I’m sorry, Bev. I was out of town. Let’s get you out of here.” I positioned myself at her side, looping her arm around my shoulders while Ollie took her other arm.

  She cleaned. She threw things out. She actually did it. I didn’t make for a good crutch, since I was shaking so badly. Years were spent begging her to let us clean just inches of the trailer so we could use the bathroom in our own home, but it was met with furious beatings and hurtful words that sizzled as they cut.