Ugly Girl Read online

  “Is she a person, or an animal? Is she one of us?”

  “She looks Fae, but talks like us.”

  “I’m a regular person, but you can talk to me if you want. I could use a few buddies to clue me in. My guide’s busy at the moment.” The unicorn deer responded by bowing their heads as if offering their horns for my service. “That’s just cool,” I mused while I reached down and pet the left head of the pit bull. The right one grew jealous, so I took one hand from Hamish and stroked them both. “Can I touch your horn? I’ve never seen anything like you in my world.”

  The uni-deer in charge nodded, offering himself up for perusal to set the example of peace for the others to follow. “You’re super way lovely, you know,” I complimented them all.

  The head uni-deer opened his mouth, his speech low and gravelly with too much breath to it. “Who are you?” he asked. He raised his long neck, looking regal with the white, unspeckled flank showing itself off to me, while the others remained bowed.

  “I’m Rosie. I mean, I guess I’m supposed to be the Lost Daughter of Avalon or something. I’m new to your world. I come from Earth, or Common, I guess.” I was impressed with myself that I’d picked up enough of their lingo to make sense to them. “I have to stay hidden here. Can you make sure that happens? I mean, don’t go to super amounts of trouble, just if you see someone sneaking up behind me, give a girl a heads-up.”

  “You’re the Voix? You can speak for us to the queen?”

  I looked from side to side, seeing more uni-deer slowly approaching, their horns bowed as they tuned in to our conversation like hitting a dial on the radio. “Um, I’m actually trying to avoid the queen right now. And I don’t have any real power to help you with. From what I understand, the queen might not like me all that much.” I cleared my throat as the self-inflicted wound stabbed me through the heart. “My mom, I guess. But if you want someone to listen to you, I’m your girl. I can’t help much, but I can at least do that.”

  The one in charge met my eyes and nodded. “If that’s what you can give us, that’s enough. Remember us if you do stand before the queen.” He threw his head over his shoulder and shouted, “All hail the Voix!”

  The uni-deer mob echoed with a rousing, “All hail the Voix!” Then they bowed, scaring the crap outta me.

  “Um, you really don’t have to do that. Honest. I’m happy to listen to you. What’s got you down?”

  The leader rose, but everyone else remained on the grass, their heads bowed in reverence that made me itch. “I’m Dahu of the Three Pines. My tribe is being hunted by some of the soldiers in the province. They don’t hunt for food, they hunt for sport, and they keep my people’s heads as trophies.”

  I grimaced, knowing what Dahu’s opinion of hunting in my world would be. “That’s not cool. If I run into any soldiers, I’ll be sure to tell them to hunt only for food.”

  “Thank you. There’s also the problem of the water,” he added, turning his head to the right. I didn’t see a body of water, but I took him at his word. “The Mousseuse River used to be pure, but Province 3 has been dumping something in it that’s making some of our fawns sick. They vomit for days, and then they’re listless. Some of them have started to die off. The others are barely themselves, and they’ve yet to recover.”

  “Oh, jeez! How long has it been going on?”

  “Two full moons.”

  I wasn’t totally sure if that meant two days or two months, but I nodded. “Just that river? Is it affecting the people, or just the animals?”

  “It affects the weaker walkers, but they aren’t figuring it out that it’s the water from the Mousseuse River. It’s going to keep poisoning the young until a whole sea of them die. It’ll be too late by the time the walkers figure it out.”

  “That I can spread the word about, no problem. I’ve got friends who are walkers here. They can take care of at least telling their people. Can you keep yours away from the river until the queen sorts it out?”

  Dahu lowered his elk-like nose and cast me a dark look. “The queen is no friend of ours. Telling her will do nothing. It’s because she stole Province 3’s Jewel of Good Fortune that they attack us at all. We’re on the border between the two districts, so we pay the highest price when they war. Morgan would merely have to give their jewel back to end the battling between the Provinces, but she won’t. So we die for it.”

  I covered my mouth with my hand as I took in the scope of the damage. “Crap. I didn’t realize there’d be full-on corruption my first hour being here. I’ll do what I can, but I gotta warn you, I don’t have any power here, and I can’t actually let the queen know who I am.”

  “I understand.” We shared a smile at the layers of meaning in his words. “The birds have told us there’s an unpoisoned river several moons east of here, but we can’t get there without passing through the East Village where many of the soldiers live. If you would grant us safe passage, then we could survive.”

  “I’ll talk to my friends and see what we can do. I’m not sure the soldiers will be cool with me, but I’ll give it a shot as soon as I’m not in hiding anymore.”

  The uni-deer stiffened when a predator ambled into the thrum from behind them. I held up my hand to the newbie, my eyes wide when I saw it was a bear cub. A real bear cub. The other animals had weird nuances to them, but this was a straight up brown bear that looked like he would’ve fit in fine in my world. He whined to me too loud for comfort. “I need you!” he cried. “My mama got taken by the soldiers, and now I have no one! Can I stay with you?”

  I waved my hand for the others to let him through, and I saw them all stiffen as the top of the food chain bounded up to me and rolled onto his back on the grass at my side. I took a chance and rubbed his belly, softening as he almost purred, grinding the top of his head into my thigh. I’d always wanted to pet a bear, but Lane forbade trips to the zoo sometime around the second grade. Something about me getting the animals too worked up. “You can stay with me, so long as you don’t eat anyone here. That cool? And you have to be careful not to scratch me or Hamish with your paws. You don’t want to hurt me.”

  “Mama,” he crooned, melting my heart as he named me the most precious label he could think of. The pit bulls growled low in their throats, but I gave them a disapproving look that shut off that nonsense right quick. I didn’t like it when animals fought in front of me. If I had my way, there would be a happy pink bubble around everyone, and no one would think angry thoughts, or war in any way. We’d talk about cotton candy and have skipping contests. André Roussimoff would still be alive, and we’d have parades in his honor. We’d eat jellybeans all the livelong day, and he could teach me his best wrestling moves. Ah, bliss.

  Hamish sniffed the bear and gave in to his daring. It was his one chance to play with his own personal dragon. He jumped on the bear’s belly and gave the guy a cuddly hug. I was proud of him for being so brave, and even more proud of the bear for not mauling Hamish. The bear was the size of a fat, round German shepherd, and I knew if he wanted to, he could tear me up with his heavy paws inside a minute.

  When I spoke, I was quiet, scared that too many were congregating too near me, and that they would draw attention. I hoped we were far enough hidden in the woods that we wouldn’t be seen. “I need some help, guys. I’m supposed to find the Cheval Mallet. The Horse to Nowhere. You heard of him?”

  They all nodded uncertainly, but Dahu spoke for the group. “We know of him, but he’s not from our woods. He doesn’t answer to anyone. You can’t follow him,” he warned.

  I shrugged. “I kind of have to. I have a cousin who wasn’t supposed to end up there. I don’t have much choice. So if you see him, could you send him my way?”

  The animals all had something to say about this, telling me with wide eyes that if I followed the black horse, they’d never see me again. They wouldn’t allow their voice to be taken from them so permanently.

  “It’s a chance I have to take. I have to find my family. The Cheval
Mallet horse is the only one who might know where Roland is. I have to try. You’d do the same thing if it was one of yours.”

  Dahu lowered his head somberly. “We’ll see what we can do.”

  I heard stomping coming from behind me and stiffened, closing my eyes when I realized it was two feet, not four paws. The footsteps stopped when the uni-deer all stood and formed a barrier between me and the intruder, their horns sticking out like unadulterated weapons of doom. It was that simple act that gave me faith that perhaps I’d found my people in this new world. Granted, animals weren’t technically people, but to feel loyalty enough to defend me after a single conversation? My heart warmed to the creatures that couldn’t be found anywhere in the nature I knew. They’d found me, which meant that part of me wasn’t so lost after all.

  “Rosie?” came Bastien’s uncertain voice.

  “Oh, good! I was worried someone else would find me first.” I stood, picking up my weighted bear, cradling him like he was a fat baby. Not to be ousted from his place of prestige, I let Hamish perch on my shoulder. The pit bulls growled at Bastien, remaining at my side like the sweet puppies they were. “Oh, it’s okay, guys. This is Bastien. He’s the one I’ll talk to about helping you all out. If anyone can fix your problems, he’s your best shot.”

  Dahu sized up Bastien and the threat he represented before taking a step back. “He’s an Untouchable, your majesty. Are you certain you’re safe with him?”

  I sized up Bastien curiously. “Mostly sure. He brought me here in the first place. If he wanted me dead, I’d already be six feet under.”

  Bastien quirked his eyebrow at my half of the conversation and raised his hands in surrender. “I won’t hurt her. I brought her here to help Avalon.”

  Dahu ventured a step towards him and sniffed Bastien’s flannel. He ran his horn along Bastien’s chest in warning, snagging on the buttonholes. “Very well. If you say you’re safe with him, we’ll leave you to talk.” He turned and came up to me, brushing his nose to my arm while I held my new beary special baby. “Be safe, Queen of the Woods. Be careful to stay hidden from the Queen of Avalon. Should you need us, send word through the birds. They can find us quickly.”

  “Thanks, Dahu.” I watched the uni-deers walk away with their tilted gaits, but the two-headed dog remained by my side.

  “Rosie, very slowly come towards me. Do you know what that is?” He pointed to the slobbering pit bulls.

  “It’s a dog,” I shrugged.

  “It’s a sosie chien. They’re very dangerous. One wrong move, and he’ll tear you up. See his collars? He’s got a master he’ll obey in a heartbeat. They’re killers. Trained for guarding a house to the death. I used to have one myself.”

  I reached down and set my bear on the grass. I scratched behind both the dogs’ ears in the middle with one hand, smiling as they wagged their tail at me. “It’s alright, buddy. Go back to your master, but make sure you don’t tell him you found me or Bastien. I have to stay hidden here for now. Got it?”

  Bastien hissed as they licked my hand. He was visibly relieved when they ran off, his shoulders rolling back. “I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to that. Now tell the bear to go away, and we can head to my place.”

  My bear reached his arms up to me, a lost boy in need of someone to care for him. I lifted him up and situated his furry body on my hip. I closed the gap between me and my guide with my cub firmly attached to me, like a toddler clinging to his mom. “I can’t do that. He’s coming with me. This is…” I fished around for a decent name. Something grand befitting a prince, not an orphan. “This is Abraham Lincoln, and he doesn’t have a mama, so I’m his mama now.” Abraham Lincoln responded by leaning up and snuggling the top of his head under my chin. He was so soft and cuddly. I couldn’t bear to leave him in the woods without someone to sing to him at night. (Couldn’t bear to leave him? Get it?)

  Bastien reached out to press his hand to the small of my back. I could tell he was nervous, letting me be so close to the bear, and inching closer himself. Hamish ran from my shoulder to perch atop Bastien’s, curling up on the larger seat Bastien’s body offered to hitch a ride to our new home. “I don’t know about this. Actually, I do know about this. It’s dangerous, Rosie. That bear’s not a household pet. It’ll tear your face off just to have something to chew on. Even if you’re playing around with him, he could do serious damage.”

  “Oh, I do this all the time. I just have to let them know how to treat me, and they’re usually fine about it.”

  “Don’t think I didn’t hear you say ‘usually’. Maybe Lane can talk you out of this.”

  “Aw, that’s sweet you think she’s not completely used to me doing this by now.” I bumped my hip to his, to show him how not big of a deal this was.

  He hesitated, taking in the bear’s cuddly demeanor and the look of “this is happening, dude” on my face. “Can I pet him?”

  I beamed, nodding and taking Bastien’s hand so Abraham Lincoln wouldn’t be frightened of the foreign touch. “Of course. Like this.” I showed him how to stroke my baby’s fur – slowly, and in a way that Abraham Lincoln could always see his hand before it touched down.

  “That feels nice.”

  “He likes you.”

  “This is surreal.” He kept his eyes on the bear as he spoke to me. “Stay close, okay? My house isn’t too far from here. I’d rather we get there without being seen.”

  “Lead the way, mister.”

  Bastien coiled his arm around me, holding my waist with his large grip that made me feel petite and precious. I leaned my head in his nook, and he pressed his lips into my hair on our walk through the woods. It was sweet, like we were a couple who went for walks in the woods all the time. I could tell that the commerce and hustle of my world had made him uneasy, but being in the woods made him feel master of his domain. His shoulders were rolled back, and because we were alone, he had no problem keeping me close for no good reason. I mean, it’s not as if someone was going to snatch at me in the middle of nowhere.

  We walked together through the woods toward his home, staying hidden in the trees that were green from root to tip. Everything smelled like vibrant nature, making Bastien look and feel like a true wild man in his element. It was nice to see ease rolling through him, when he’d been on alert for so long.

  Abraham Lincoln sensed my growing affection for Bastien, so he climbed further up me to give Bastien’s stubble a lick. Bastien froze, unsure if he was about to be bitten, but softened when Abraham Lincoln nuzzled his neck and then went back to hugging me. His head looped over my shoulder and his paws held me tight.

  Bastien narrowed his eyes at me, as if Abraham Lincoln and I were ganging up on him, which we kind of were. “Okay, okay. He can stay for now. But I’m serious, one wrong move, and he’s out. And you have to hide him. I don’t have any nearby neighbors, but if someone happens by, it’ll raise a few flags if I have a bear around the house. A billion animals in my home is a dead giveaway I’m harboring the Lost Daughter of Avalon.”

  “That’s fair. Everything okay at the marketplace?”

  “Yup. Made sure to be seen by the biggest gossips first. Hopefully the guards will stop by my house and clear me quick. Can Abraham Lincoln run alright? Is he injured? Because we should get home before any soldiers find my house empty.”

  Abraham Lincoln clung to me, letting me know that though he was able to run, he wasn’t giving up his new mom for anything. “He’s afraid to be put down. I can keep up holding him just fine.”

  Bastien removed his hand from me as we jogged together through the woods, hopping over fallen branches and sticking close. It was as if we were made to run through nature at each other’s side. We jogged for nearly half an hour, laughing as we tried to outpace the other. It wasn’t exactly a hard job for Bastien to beat me, I mean, I was carrying a friggin’ bear, but he played along all the same, sometimes letting me take the lead. When we finally reached the forest’s edge, I was grateful we were stopping. Abraham Lin
coln was no squirrel.

  Bastien pressed his hand to the small of my back again as I caught my breath, tucking me into his side and leading me forward toward a dirt path that veered to our right. The walk was beautiful, the trees forming a canopy along the path that was almost romantic with its seclusion and late-springtime warmth. The shrubs lining the path seemed put there purposefully to add beauty to the trail, and I wondered if Bastien had done that. I didn’t see him as an aesthetic gardener, but when we reached his home, I saw yet more bushes that yielded berries, and trees that bore football-shaped fruit surrounding his quaint home. The door was made of roughly-hewn wood, and had been painted green to match the trees that surrounded his property. It was a quaint cabin in the woods, and couldn’t have been more perfectly suited for the lumberjack at my side.

  21

  Busted Magic and Big Baby

  Bastien walked through the door, heaving out a gust of relief when his eyes fell on Reyn. Lane stepped away with a blush, looking guiltily at her hot pink gym shoes.

  “What’s that doing in here? You can’t keep a bear, Rosie. Especially not in a house! Bastien, you’re going to get her killed! Be sensible!” Reyn chided us. His eyes were bloodshot and his long fingers looked somehow thinner than when I’d last seen him earlier that day.

  The bear clung more tightly to me, closing his eyes to fend off the sting of immediate rejection. I ran my hands down his back to soothe him. “It’s fine, Reyn. This is Abraham Lincoln. He’s my baby, and he’s staying with me.”

  Reyn put his hand to his forehead. “He’s not your baby. You’re Fae. He’s a bear. You can’t keep a bear as your baby.”

  “You feeling alright? You look… I dunno. You look like you’re getting a little sick.”

  “Really? I’ve never felt better.” It was an obvious lie filled with too much bravado. I felt bad for outing him in front of Lane, who he was clearly trying to mac on.

  Bastien moved to the kitchen area and slid out a chair from the table. “Sit down,” he ordered. When Reyn glowered uncharacteristically at him, Bastien smacked the back of the chair with his palm. “I’m serious. Sit down and rest. I can tell you tried to use concealment charms to muffle your footsteps. It used up too much of your magic, and you know it.”