Linus at Large: An Undraland Blood Novel Read online

  “Yes! And you’re the only elf with reason to attack me who was there last night. You did this!” He was still on his knees before me, and now gripped my thigh hard with his good hand, burying his face where he was certainly not allowed.

  “Get off your knees! You’re freaking me out!” I tried to pull him up, but he remained in the most unnatural position I’d ever seen him in. I sunk down on my knees before him so it didn’t look like he was bowing before me.

  “Lucy, you have to give me back my hand!” he shouted into my face.

  I was afraid now. Foss looked on the outside edge of deranged. If I confessed my theory of Havard’s blessing of protection on me being the culprit, I couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t attack me.

  This guy. This was the guy I put Jens on the back burner for. I needed Linus to shake me out of it.

  Despite my distrust of Foss, I ran my hands over his head, tracing the scar he’d gotten when Pesta had run the van he was in off the road and nearly killed him when we were on our way to destroy the human portal to Be. I tried my best to soften the intensity of the moment. “You almost died in my arms once,” I told him, my voice quiet.

  “Twice,” he corrected me.

  “I wouldn’t save you just to take part of you away. I want more for you, not less.”

  Foss looked into my eyes, and I felt the words spark between us. I heard the things he wanted to say, but was too stubborn to admit. I had taken part of him away. Jamie had been right. I’d given Foss a heart, only to rip it out. I may as well have taken his right hand.

  Foss leaned forward, resting his forehead to mine and drawing me tighter to him with his good arm. “You shouldn’t have seduced me just to get me to drink the cure. I can’t believe you’d do that. I was more… I was… I laid it all out, and… You shouldn’t have lied to me like that.”

  My voice was quiet. I knew I couldn’t move more than an inch, otherwise we’d be kissing again, and I didn’t want that. “I didn’t lie to you. Sure, I tried to get you to take it by sneaking, which was wrong, but I wanted to kiss you, cure or not. I wanted to be near you. It got out of hand and too intense because I got carried away by you and the moment.” I lowered my voice to a whisper, delivering the truth he didn’t deserve to hear. “Every kiss we’ve ever had in private has been because I wanted it. From the very first one.” I stiffened, removing my forehead from his. “Not that you’ve earned a word of this. It doesn’t matter anyway.”

  Foss touched his lips. “It wasn’t all fake, then?”

  “No. I told you last night it wasn’t. You remember. It was right before you backhanded me and reminded me why I’ll never be able to be with you. Curse or not, I can’t live like that. I can forgive you and move on, but I can’t stay with the guy who hits me. You have to know I deserve better than that.” I shook my head. “You should want more for me, not less.”

  Foss nodded in slow motion, sitting back on his heels as he surveyed the separation between us. Though it was only a foot or two, it felt like we’d finally managed to hold onto a bit of healthy distance. “Fine. Let’s work out an arrangement, then. How often can you come back and pretend you’re in love with me? Pretend you forgive me?”

  I could tell the words cut him to say, and it gave me no pleasure to endure this conversation. “Don’t put it like that.”

  “How should I put it?”

  “I don’t know.” I shook my head, rubbing my temples. “I’d have to talk to Jens, since it concerns him, too. Maybe a month out of the year? But not for a long time, Foss. I have to get out of here. I hate it. Like, can’t look at another woman with a kicked-in face, hate it. And now, thanks to you, I can’t look in a mirror.”

  “I’m sorry. I thought you’d betrayed me.”

  I kept my temper, which made me Superwoman. “Yup. I’ll be leaving in a few days, so you don’t have to feel that anymore.”

  Foss opened his mouth and closed it a few times. “Please don’t go so soon. There’s no reason to rush away. Jens is here. Linus is here. Stay. You don’t even have a home to go back to.”

  In response to his plea, I moved around him and exited the room, choosing anywhere to be but with him.

  23

  Viktigast Död Sköld

  Tucker hadn’t come back at dinner, nor did he return when everyone was turning in, beat from a hard day’s work. I wished we had cell phones, because that anxious pull on Jamie’s end hadn’t gone away, but only increased as the evening wore on.

  I watched as Linus consumed enough meals to fill at least a dozen grown men – no joke. But I couldn’t eat more than a few bites. I was sick over whatever my protection charm had done to Foss. My stomach was throwing a fit because it was worried about Jamie. Every time a servant brought in a new platter of food to the chief’s opulent dining room, I hoped for Tucker bringing me good news that Jamie was just watching a super dramatic movie or something. I’d watched Casablanca with them when we lived on the Other Side. It could happen.

  I wanted to confess everything to Jens, but he ate with the servants at the lower table and sat on the floor with them. I was at the chief’s raised table between Linus and Foss, wishing I was anywhere else.

  Foss couldn’t cut his meat. I wasn’t sure how many people were aware of his affliction, so I didn’t want to embarrass him. I set to work taking too much food onto my plate and cutting it all into bite-sized pieces for him. “Darling husband,” I cooed. “Your plate looks much more appetizing to me right now. Could we switch? I think I took too much gravy.”

  Foss looked like he might break down right then and there. He leaned into me and pressed his forehead to mine. “Of course, lovely wife.” He kissed my lips lightly, and then was overcome with gratitude and desperation, which drove him to kiss me over and over again, communicating without words how scared he was. When I could tell tears were eminent, Foss slowed his passion. I stroked his cheek with nervous fingers, just as scared as he was, and wishing with everything in me that I could fix the problems plaguing the people I loved. Foss brushed his nose across my cheekbone and whispered, “Thank you.”

  Linus jabbed my thigh with his fork under the table, warning me to cool down.

  I nodded, pecking Foss’s cheek so I could whisper in his ear. “Let me know if you want anything more. I’m here for you.”

  “Don’t leave my side,” Foss begged, his whisper choked. “I can’t do this alone.”

  “I’m here, honey. I’m right here.”

  Linus looked around the table, so I handed him the root vegetables. “Thanks, Queen of the Centaurs. Exactly what I was looking for. They’re kinda like buttery beets, right? Weird. I can almost taste the earthworms.” Linus grinned, and I did my best to mirror the expression, but I knew it fell flat. “What’s wrong? You’ve got that I-want-to-cry-with-my-words face.”

  The grownups were discussing territory claims, so I did my best to keep my voice quiet. “Nothing I can talk about.” My eyes flashed to Jens, wishing I could have just a few minutes alone with my boyfriend.

  Linus was my best friend, so instinctively he knew how to fix my broken guts. He held out the side of his fist, and I responded with a friendly bump. He looked over to Jens, who was talking with a few of the men about the work they had in store for tomorrow. “Hey, Jens the Brave. I need to run a few ideas by you. You got a second? My sister needs to approve a few things that concern her safety. Like, super concerns it.”

  Jens was on his feet, abandoning his conversation mid-sentence. “Sure. Did you two want to talk to me in private?”

  Linus nodded, standing reluctantly from the food as he cast the rolls a wistful glance. “Hey, Grandmaster Chief. Can we use one of your rooms? Other Side business. You understand.”

  The chief was in the middle of a conversation with Foss and Viggo, so he waved us off and motioned down the hall to his right. “The third door down that hallway has a door that locks. Help yourself.”

  I curtsied to the chief, who gave me a kinder smile than I anticipated. Fo
ss cast me a look that had a hint of panic in it at being left alone one-armed. His slight display of vulnerability paused my exit, my hand finding its way to his back to give him a reassuring rub. “I’ll be right back. See if I can’t solve a few things for you.”

  I led the way down the hall, keeping my chin high until Jens locked the door behind us.

  I didn’t care that my brother was there. I didn’t care about the fancy emerald and gold room that was decked in portraits of the four powers as they’d been a year ago. I didn’t care that men who could have me stoned were right down the hall. I didn’t care about my arm hair omen, or playing it cool or anything. Jens was finally with me, and I felt that high like a kid on her first roller coaster.

  I collapsed into his arms as we attacked each other with a kiss that had understanding, fear, concern and a perfect amount of love wrapped up in it. His lips exploded on mine, and I melted in his embrace as he lifted my toes off the emerald rug.

  Linus had his eyes closed. “Dudes, seriously. Not to be a buzzkill, but I’m in the room. Happy for you, but you know, gross.”

  Jens pushed my hair back from my face with clumsy hands, examining my eyes with his own intensity that could not be quelled. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “We don’t have much time, so don’t throw a fit, okay?”

  Jens stiffened, but didn’t remove his arms from around me, wanting me as close as possible. “Out with it, Mox.”

  It felt like I had been in a desert, and was only just now getting a bottle of water. Jens was a necessity, and I couldn’t get close enough. I kissed him once more before spilling my guts. “Foss wouldn’t take the cure, so I put some on my lips and kissed him, but it wasn’t enough. It didn’t work. He caught me, and got real upset. Hit me and marked up my face a little.”

  Jens nodded. “I figured Foss was behind that.” His jaw was stiff, but he was muscling through like a champ. “You can kiss him, Loos. You know you have a pass in Fossegrim. We can’t make it through the island if you’re not married to him. It’s fine. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m dealing.”

  I shook my head, wishing there was some way to make the words I had to tell my boyfriend not true. I clung to his shirt, hoping it would force him to stay in one place. “Please don’t leave me. Please don’t hate me.”

  Jens backed away, his chest moving unevenly as he looked on me with horror. “Did you… You didn’t sleep with him. Tell me you’re still a virgin!”

  I covered my face in my hands. “Nothing like that! Come on.” I pressed onward, knowing it was now or never. “When Foss hit me, something happened. I didn’t see it, but Foss said something like lightning struck near us, and ever since then he hasn’t been able to use the hand he hit me with! Like, he can’t feel it at all!” My hands rung together as my anxiety peaked. “I think I did it to him!”

  Jens’s delicious eyebrows furrowed as he took in the unexpected turn in the conversation. “Huh? Say that again? How could you have done that?”

  “The doctor who looked at his hand said it was elfish magic, and I was the only elf besides Linus on the whole island! So unless Linus has Jiu-jitsu up his sleeve we don’t know about, I crippled Foss!” I begged with Jens to forgive me. “I didn’t know! I still don’t totally understand it. I didn’t mean to! And I don’t know how to undo it. You have to help me undo it!”

  Linus held up his hands when Jens looked in his direction. “Hey, don’t cast those baby greens this way. You know I haven’t been trained in jack shiz yet. I didn’t even know Lucy was in danger then. I would’ve done something. Arrogant smackhole. Deserves what he got.”

  Jens turned back to me. “But how?”

  I wished I could melt into the floor. It was the only time I was ever jealous of the Wicked Witch of the West. I began scratching at my hands, my nerves past the point of frazzled. “I, um, I… Something happened in the water, Jens. When we saw Havard. You were passed out, and he gave me something.”

  Jens paled. “Out with it.”

  Tears sprang to my eyes now. My stomach pulled, and I knew something was very wrong across the pond wherever Jamie was. “Jamie’s in danger!”

  “Come again?”

  “Jamie!” I patted my stomach. “I can still feel him a little. I can’t hear him, but something’s super wrong, Jens. I sent Tuck over to see what it was, but he should’ve been back by now, or the feeling should have left me. But something’s wrong with Jamie! We have to do something!”

  Linus whipped his head from me to Jens. “What are we talking about? I thought we were on that Havard dude.”

  Jens was familiar with watching me have half-conversations. He stepped forward and palmed my cheeks, focusing me on one thing at a time. “Honey, what did Havard give you?”

  The tears fell onto his hands. “I miss you. I know I’m supposed to use this time to figure crap out with Foss, but it’s killing me to be so far from you. I don’t want to figure things out! I want to go home! When can we go home?”

  Jens kissed my lips lightly to focus me. “Soon. What did Havard give you?”

  I closed my eyes. “I didn’t think much about it at the time. I thought it was just one of those Irish blessings or something. Right before I killed him—” I stopped at Linus’s intake of breath.

  “Run that by me again?”

  “I didn’t want to do it!” I said to my brother.

  Jens got right in my face. “Focus! Lucy, what happened with Havard?”

  “Sorry. Right before I killed him, he said that because I didn’t ask for anything for me, only stuff for other people, that he was going to give me some of his ‘victor-gas dad scold’ or something.”

  Jens took a step back. “Did he say his viktigast död sköld?”

  “I dunno. Maybe. I was worried about getting you to the surface. I don’t speak the language. Probably that, yeah. He pulled me in right before he died, just after I ran him through, and kissed me.” I covered my face. “It wasn’t romantic, I promise! It was exactly like how he kissed you, only I felt something like… I don’t know, something powerful come inside me. Part of the light in his belly, only I don’t glow in the dark like he did, so I didn’t think anything else about it.”

  Linus mumbled to Jens. “You kissed a dude?”

  Jens ignored Linus. “Havard gave you his viktigast död sköld?”

  “He said it was to protect me, to help make your job easier.” My voice quieted. “Did I somehow cripple Foss?”

  Jens was floored, and took a full ten seconds to answer. “Um, well, kind of. I’m surprised you only hurt his hand. He’s pretty lucky to be alive right now.”

  “What?”

  Jens started pacing, working through the plot in his mind before he laid it all out for me. “Okay, a viktigast död sköld is part of Havard’s essence, kind of like his spirit, but it’s a localized portion. Only really powerful elves can locate their spirit and divide up parts of it to hand out. He said for protection, huh?” He ran his hand through his hair. “Well, that makes sense, then.”

  “Are you kidding me? None of this makes sense! What’s happening to me?” I examined my hands as if they were poisonous, and might take down anyone nearby.

  “Foss hit you, so Havard’s spirit made sure he could never hit you again. He took away the use of Foss’s hand. It’s meant to keep you safe. If someone tries to kill you, they die. It’s… it’s a really powerful gift, Loos. You should’ve told me.”

  I pulled at my fingers. “I know! I’m sorry! I didn’t even know what it was! I thought it was just a wish for good luck in the future or something.”

  Jens rubbed his neck, his eyes still wide as he processed it all. “No, babe. Havard pretty much handed you a future on a silver platter. You might not take an eye for an eye, but Havard’s blessing on you will.”

  I blinked at him. “I don’t even know how to deal with that.”

  Jens let out a nervous laugh. “Well, my workload just got easier.”

  “What about Foss
’s hand? Is there a way to tell the curse to undo it?”

  Jens softened. “It’s not a curse, Mox. It’s a blessing, a real gift usually reserved for the rare king or something. I mean, I don’t actually know of anyone getting this blessing in my lifetime. It costs the giver his life, which I guess wasn’t too huge a sacrifice for Havard, being that he begged you to kill him.”

  Linus deflated. “This world is confusing. Someone asked you to kill him?”

  Jens waved off Linus’s questions for a later date. “Foss’s hand can’t be fixed. He hit you, so Havard made sure he couldn’t hit you with that hand ever again. I mean, it’s harsh, but it’s how this sort of thing works. No mercy.”

  Tears fell down my cheeks at random now with no hope of stopping any time soon. “I didn’t mean to! I didn’t know!”

  Jens wrapped me in his arms, and I broke. Whatever small part of me was still trying to hold onto serenity snapped off in his embrace. “I’ll explain it to him. It shouldn’t come from you. No joke, but if he loses his temper again, he could lose more than a hand. He really could’ve died.”

  I shuddered against Jens, and then jerked myself out of his arms. “Get away! Don’t come near me then! I’m dangerous! I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Jens shook his head. “No, Loos. That’s not how it works. It’s not lightning at random. It’s lightning on tap. Unless I haul off and attack you, I can put my hands all over you, and I’ll be just fine.”

  “Thanks for that image,” Linus complained.

  Jens grasped onto a second fact to calm me. “Even Tucker, when he accidentally did hurt you when he tapped into your power? Nearly gave you a stroke or something, but nothing happened to him. It’s because he wasn’t trying to hurt you. It’s the intention plus the act itself.” Jens threw his head back. “Tucker put the Tomten soldiers’ fire out after he tapped into your power. Imagine if he hadn’t been able to port you out! I mean, I probably could’ve just left you standing in the field for them to attack you, and nothing would’ve touched you. Just standing there, I’m guessing you could’ve leveled the whole army! I’m not totally sure on all the details, but that’s the basic rule, anyway.”