Torture (Terraway Book 3) Read online

  Finn stood slowly, using his three extra inches to tower over Von, who refused to be intimidated. “I thought you knew better than to threaten me, half-vamp. Clearly you think you have nothing to lose, but you know? I’ve never found that to be true.” His nose was just a few inches from Von’s, and the slight sneer told me that Finn was growing frustrated at losing his expected upper hand. “There’s always some button to press to make you kneel. And boy, have I seen you do your fair share of kneeling.”

  Ezra was livid. “You’ll not speak to my son like that, Captain.”

  Mason stood, enforcing Von’s threat, his hand on my hip. “Go on into the living room, hani.”

  23

  Our First Fight

  I wanted to fight alongside my guys, but decided to follow Mason’s instructions on this one, since my insults didn’t get more creative than small penis references this early in the morning. I had a feeling I’d need to save those for when the work day actually started.

  I walked into the living room, trying to find a comfortable spot for my back on the leather sofa. I was wearing designer jeans and a fitted deep blue sweater Mariang had bought for me. It was the most expensive outfit I’d ever worn, and I wasn’t sure what to do with that information. It made me very aware of any kind of spills that might ruin the nice gifts that just kept on coming.

  I pulled out my phone and called Ollie, knowing I needed to smooth things over with him before he went off the rails. “October?”

  The sound of his familiar cadence made me soften and retract the claws Finn brought out in me. “I just wanted to call and tell you again that I’m sorry about missing our weekly check-ins, and for hanging up on you the other day. I didn’t mean to worry you. Life’s been a little crazy.”

  “Crazy how?” I could tell he was at his desk by the sound of paper shuffling. I could hear the squeak of his chair that he liked to make creak in a rhythm to keep himself from daydreaming his work time away. Only the eek-eek matched the rolling chair in his bedroom at my house, not the one at his desk in New York. I could picture my brother leaning back with a look of concern on his face as he stared at his bedroom wall, and knew that as much as I wished he was back home, no amount of phantom chair-squeaking could make that true. Ollie was still in New York, and that was the name of that sad tune. “Talk to me, October.”

  I wasn’t sure how to answer him. I hated keeping anything from Ollie, but for his own good, I knew the land that was sucking the life out of me couldn’t go near my brother. “Crazy enough to interfere with the important stuff.”

  “When I couldn’t get ahold of you, I left a message with the warden. He finally got back to me, and told me you quit. You get a better offer?”

  No. “Yeah. I miss it, though. Did he sound mad?”

  “Not really. He sounded confused by the whole thing. Said you just up and quit with no warning. He’s afraid one of the inmates did something to you.” His voice lowered. “Is that true?”

  “No, no. It was time for a change, is all.”

  “What are you doing now?”

  I swallowed the truth and produced a good enough half-version. “I’m working for Ezra.”

  “Ezra? Seriously? What are you doing for him? What kind of medical help does he need?”

  “I’m helping around the house. Running errands and things like that.”

  I waited for the brick wall I could hear Ollie turning into on the other end of the call to respond. “Are you kidding me? You have a nursing degree! You love working at the prison. Now you’re, what? Doing his grocery shopping? Why?”

  “The money’s better,” I admitted. I could hear Ollie ramping up on the other end, so I made quick work of wrapping it up. “It’s fine, Ollie. It’s my choice.”

  “It’s that Von guy. You did this so you could be around him more. Come on, kid! Be smarter than this. Don’t be the girl who throws her career away for a guy with no future.”

  “Von and I are just friends, and you don’t even know him.”

  “Spoken like every young girl before she throws her plans away over some lowlife. I raised you better than that.”

  Of course Von chose that moment to meander in and make himself comfortable on the couch next to me. “Don’t say ‘just’,” Von complained. “Makes it sound like I’m the consolation prize. You ever seen anyone as brilliant as me? I don’t think so.”

  I gave him a withering look that told him he wasn’t helping matters. Ollie was in a right state. “Is that him? Give the phone to Von. I want to talk to this joker.”

  Von heard and extended his hand for the phone, but I held it tight. “Not happening, guys. Family life separate from work life.”

  Von donned a dramatic wounded expression. “That’s all I am to you? A job? What about last night, with all the hours of raucous lovemaking we shared? I didn’t know a woman’s body could bend like that.” He pressed his hand to his heart, ramping up the antics and the volume. “I didn’t know I could feel the way I do about you! Ditch your responsibilities and run away with me, love. I really need you to cosign a loan for me first. Was thinking about getting myself a motorbike and whisking you off into the sunset. How opposed are you to Green Card marriages?”

  Ollie was distraught. “Did you seriously have sex with that clown? Your first time was with him? Why, kid? Anyone but that guy!”

  I stood from the couch, palming Von’s face to block the overly saccharine doe-eyed expression he wore as he batted his long eyelashes at me. Von responded by licking my palm, which was completely and totally disgusting. “Ah! Gross!” I wiped off my hand on his shirt, but I could still feel the germs crawling around like tiny bugs. I stomped off to the bathroom to wash my hands, surprised that Von followed me like an annoying chittering monkey. “Ollie, Von’s being a dork. We’ve never even kissed.”

  Von mimed stabbing himself in the chest. “Now you know that’s not true. Why would you lie about something like that? That’s just hurtful. I kissed you last night in the bed we share. In fact, I kiss you every night between the sheets.”

  My mouth fell open, horrified he was taking his little joke so far. “Ollie, I have to go. Everything’s fine.” I hung up before Ollie could yell, and turned to Von, who was smiling like the wicked boy he was. His hands were folded across his toned stomach, his wrinkled red shirt making his gold and blue eyes almost glow. He knew exactly how handsome he was, and was unapologetic as he beamed at me, ready to play. I pointed to his chest, unmoved in my accusation. “You need to cool it. Why’d you do that to Ollie? Now he’s going to be thinking we’re hooking up.”

  “You know very well I kissed your lips last night.” He said it as if we’d done something to be hidden in the dark under the sheets, instead of the innocent affection it was. Then Von frowned. “Why didn’t it work? Why didn’t I feel that euphoria you were going on about? I thought for sure we would be able to conjure up what you experienced with Mason.”

  “Because we didn’t actually…” Then I stopped, my frustration turning to a smack of hurt. “You’re sweet to me because you want to get high when we kiss?” I took a few steps back, wishing there was some other explanation. “You were using me?”

  Von sobered instantly, all play gone. “No, of course not. I only wondered why after the fact. I swear.” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Everything’s felt off.”

  “You’re off! You’re supposed to be the one who doesn’t use me. You’re supposed to know how much I hate all of this.”

  Von reached out to me, grimacing when I jerked away. “I told you, it’s not like that. It was just a thought.”

  “Call me when it’s time to go.” Maybe I was overreacting, but I needed a minute to cool down. Von’s germs were still crawling on my hand like so many microscopic organisms that screamed out to let them stay. I closed myself back in the emerald bathroom I’d once seen covered in cockroaches. It was now pristine, as if the infestation never happened. I wo
ndered how long it would take for me to be able to look back and feel like the whole thing never happened.

  I scrubbed my hands again, getting in between my fingers, rinsing and starting all over again, just in case.

  I looked in the mirror and flinched. After being starved in Geon’s dungeon, and then going back to work to a job that literally made me sick, my face was starting to thin out. I liked my curves, my hips and my figure that looked and felt like a woman’s, petite though I was. Terraway was slowly stripping that from me. I had bags under my eyes, no color to my skin and a haunted look to me I tried to force away.

  I rehearsed smiling in the mirror, to show Terraway it hadn’t stolen everything from me – that I’d kept the good parts and hid them where no one could take them away. My smile was practiced and false, but it was a sign that I hadn’t been defeated. Somewhere, I was still in there, and I drew comfort from that thought.

  Von’s knock was to be expected. Before I opened the door, I took a few steadying breaths to push the fight away from me. If what he was saying was true, he hadn’t pecked my lips to use me to get high; he was merely curious after the fact as to why it hadn’t worked. I couldn’t fault him for that. I’d wondered the same thing on occasion. It was the initial sting that got me.

  When I opened the door, Von greeted me with a submissive expression of concern. “Please don’t be mad at me. I take it all back.”

  I stepped backward and waved him into the bathroom, not wanting to have this conversation so close to the dining room, where curious ears might lean in. “I overreacted. I was scared you were like Mason, and I freaked out for a second. I’m sorry. You’re right; we’re better than that. I should’ve had more faith in us.”

  Von’s shoulders loosened, and the easy grin I loved swept across his features. “We are better than that.” He motioned between us. “I’ve never had a best friend like this. I usually don’t keep women around after I move on. So if I’m rubbish at this, you’ll have to educate me on how to be better. I like our arrangement, and I don’t want it to change.”

  “I like it, too. But don’t be a tool, and don’t make Ollie think we’re doing things. We never kept secrets from each other, and now my whole life’s turning into a secret. Don’t add to that just to drive him nuts.”

  Von pulled me into his arms, and despite all the confusion, his embrace served to center me. I fell into him, inhaling his purely guy scent of mint and cigars that had no frills or effort to it. It was refreshing, and somewhere along the lines, Von was starting to feel like the home that always traveled with me when I couldn’t make it back to mine.

  He held me with one arm and raised his pinky to me with the other. “How about we promise each other that we won’t end up all twisted. I won’t jerk your jerk of a brother around anymore, yeah? We should promise that we won’t kiss for real. I don’t want what happened with Mason to happen with us. We’re better than that. And I really don’t want you to have no one here who’s not using you.”

  “Deal.” I linked my pinky to his, not expecting him to use our little fingers to lift my chin so he could see my face more clearly. He leaned in and pecked my lips – innocent and sweet with that constant hint of flirtation he didn’t know how to turn off. I would never ask him to turn it off; it was Von, and I knew that I loved him exactly how he was.

  “I don’t like that you’re back with Mason.” He started swaying us gently from side to side, in a slow dance while he hummed The Way You Look Tonight. His footwork wasn’t too fancy, which I appreciated. He danced with care, taking into consideration my tender back.

  I leaned my temple to his chest and let myself be romanced by our strange friendship. “I’m not back with Mason. I just don’t want to hold onto that anger anymore. It’s not worth it to feel so hurt all the time. It’s exhausting. Plus, he seems to have shaken himself out of it. Realizes how messed up it all was. I kinda feel sorry for him, losing his wife like that, then not being able to move on because I make him think of her. It’s sort of awful for him.”

  Von’s thumb rubbed a circle at the base of my spine to soothe me. “Say what you want, but I know what I saw. You’re still crushing on him, and he wants back in. It’s only a matter of time. Given how often you’re with him?” He checked his wrist that had no watch on it, miming looking at the time. “I give it two days before you’re tangled up with him again.”

  I pulled his wrist down to check the freckle there. “Your watch is busted, chief.”

  “I’m seeing Penny tonight after work. That’ll give you two just enough time together to make a perfect mess of things. Enjoy the descent into tawdry self-loathing. I’ve always been a fan of it.”

  I squeezed his waist to give him a tickle. “Message received, oh wise one.”

  Von’s chest puffed out with pride. “Oh, I like that. I might insist it’s my name from now on.”

  “Better than wiseass?”

  “Much.” He swayed with me a few more beats. “You ready for work, Peach?”

  “No. Let’s hide in here a little while longer.”

  “You got it.” Von started singing the Frank Sinatra song to me, his cheek pressed to mine as he turned me to his music. His hand stroked my sore back, and then moved up to thumb the nape of my neck. The mood shifted from the lightness of our steady friendly flirtation to something heavier that quickened my heartbeat, though I couldn’t tell you why. His fingers traced around to stroke the side of my neck, erupting goosebumps that betrayed the flutter in my chest. “I like this spot right here,” Von admitted.

  “This one?” My chin tilting back to expose the silk of my neck to the vampire I adored. “That feels nice,” I murmured. My eyes fluttered shut when his fingertips stroked down my throat like I was his instrument, and he wanted to see what kind of music we would make together.

  In that moment I knew; I did trust Von, no matter how foolish that choice might be. My head lolled back, my auburn curls dangling as I reveled in the new life I had that actually came with the perks of making a real friend.

  I gasped when I felt his breath near my neck. My pulse accelerated, and I knew with his attuned senses, that he could smell my blood heating as it rushed through my veins. “Well, look at you,” he remarked, his voice low. “You really are learning to let go. Beautiful.”

  I swallowed hard. Then before I could further question my sanity, Von gripped me tight and blew a loud raspberry into the vulnerable spot on my throat that was invented only to be treated nicely. “Fool! Never give a vampire full access to your neck! What do they teach you in those American schools?” He released me slowly, without too much twist to my spine as I giggled through my thrill that came fervently at his touch.

  Our laughter felt like breathing and tasted like the relief we both needed to wash in. I bathed in it, oh did I bathe. My levity was the release of too many bad days stacked on top of each other, threatening to turn into a bad year on me.

  But not if Von could help it. Despite everything he’d been through – being chained up, bled dry, lost his mind and slowly clawed his way back to sanity – Von was ever himself, and in that moment, I fully appreciated what a gift that was.

  “You got me good,” I admitted, enjoying the breadth of his laughter that could only bring happiness and never the sting of bitterness. He varied from Danny a great deal in that way, and for all of Danny’s dependable qualities, Von stole my heart with his loveable flaws.

  He’d been laughing as hard as me, his eyes crinkling at the corners in the best way. “I can tell you’ll have handsome old man wrinkles when gray hair creeps in on you. If this Reaper-Omen bond holds true, I might just be around to get to see that magnificence firsthand.”

  Von suddenly sobered, looking at me with a stern expression. “No.” His eyes bored into me, appearing to be sifting through too many responses to my simple compliment. “I’m temporary, November. It’s important you don’t forget that.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’ve resisted th
e transition thus far, but one day, something or other will prove to be too much. Make no mistake, it’s in my nature. I will turn someday.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. His gold eye and his blue were filled with regret. “I won’t grow to be an old man with wrinkles. Best enjoy the look of me now.”

  I gripped his hands tight, willing my stubborn nature to instill itself into him. “Not if I have anything to say about it. You’re not temporary, Von. You’re permanent. We’re permanent. I need you to believe that. I need you to keep trying.” I blinked up at him, scared of the words that tumbled out of me so easily. “I need you.”

  Von’s eyebrows drew together, his eyes unable to conceal how moved he was by my unswerving devotion. His expression shifted in the next blink, telling me that he didn’t believe the next words that came out of his mouth, but was saying them to indulge me. “Then you shall have me. However long I’m here, I’m yours.”

  The corner of my mouth lifted. I leaned up on my toes to touch his lips lightly with my fingertips, our noses barely a breath apart. Then I brushed a kiss to his pained expression to hold him in place. “Then I want you forever.”

  That same insecure look crossed his features again, overwhelmed by my commitment to our friendship. “Then I guess I’ll be by your side a bit longer. I’ll stave off my pesky transition forever, then.”

  “That’s more like it.” I nodded, satisfied for the moment that Von was the same fighter I was. “We don’t give up on the things that matter.”

  Von cleared his throat. “On the phone out there? That was our first real fight.”

  “I suppose it was.”

  “I admit, I really didn’t like it. Let’s never do that again, yeah?”

  I smiled up at him, taking in his sincerity that showed me that I was every bit as important to him as he was to me. “Well, if you say so.”

  24