Ugly Girl Page 29

  He rolled me over so I was thoroughly coated in mud, and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. Renewed shock flooded me, electrocuting every pore in my body that this was my first kiss, and I was totally unable to participate in it. Then Bastien squeezed my cheeks, popping my mouth open so he could blow into it. He pinched the bridge of my nose and blew in a steady rhythm, forcing air in where it felt like there was only water. Remy moved around us so he was positioned at my head. He brushed my filthy hair back from my face and pressed down on my forehead to keep me still. “It’s going to feel like you’re drowning, but it’s not really water in your lungs. The danger is you’ll think there is, and you’ll stop breathing on your own. Bastien’s forcing in air, so your body won’t give up on trying to breathe. This phase passes quickly, so best be as calm as you can while it moves through you.”

  I wanted to shout at Remy, to hold his head underwater and tell him to be calm about it. Bastien jerked my chin up so my shoulders were slightly elevated, giving him a clearer shot down into my lungs. It was more than the minute I could hold my breath underwater. It was more than ten times that, but Bastien was determined. In that moment, I was grateful for his stubborn nature that wouldn’t give up on me, even when I’d pushed him away.

  35

  Bastien the Bully

  Slowly the air he forced into me became easier to hold onto. I couldn’t do much with my arms, so I turned my head to the side so he’d stop breathing for me. Bastien let out a strangled laugh filled with too much anxiety. “See? I told you I’d take care of it. You’re alright. The worst is over. Once the sweat breaks out, we can cool off in the river. Who’s amazing?”

  I know I was supposed to respond with a hearty “Bastien’s the king!” but I felt heavy all over, weighted with too much Avalon. I wanted to hug him or at the very least, sit up, but I couldn’t move my arms. They were there, but too exhausted and rubbery from the tremors to be of any use. Bastien took a few minutes on his knees to catch his breath, rubbing his chest with one hand and leaning against the underside of the bridge with the other to steady himself.

  “Remy, stay with her for a minute while I go check on Reyn. Be right back, Daisy.” He hoisted himself out of the muck and stumbled toward the others.

  I closed my eyes and let my body rest for the few moments it was granted respite. I tried to tune out Remy’s medical fretting, letting my mind wander to the almost kiss I’d just had – because I was poisoned into thinking I was drowning. And it wasn’t actually a kiss, it was CPR. I wondered if my first real kiss would nearly stop my heart as much as this had. I wondered if it would be Bastien, and how my conscience would wrestle with doing something that was so intimate with an engaged man.

  Dew broke out on my forehead, and Remy quickly scooped out water from the creek to spoon over my hair, cooling me and making me feel a little less icky. “Thanks,” I whispered.

  “I could’ve helped you through the stages,” he told me in a quiet voice. “Bastien wouldn’t let anyone near you, not even me. He only consented to letting me hold your ankles because he couldn’t manage it.” He waited a few beats for that to sink in before he started on a different topic. “I became a healer because it’s what my father expected of his children. He was the only healer for the entire village, and there were times the workload was too much. By the time I was ten, I’d seen many a man die on our kitchen table. I wanted to be a knight in the Queen’s Army, but I knew I would serve the land better helping out father.”

  I clumsily reached my arm over my head and fished around until I found Remy’s hand. I couldn’t give him the reassuring squeeze I wanted to, but the sentiment was there. “That sucks, Remy. For what it’s worth, I think you’d make a good knight. You rode your horse like friggin’ Zorro or something. You’re amazing.”

  “Who?”

  “Never mind. I’m sorry you didn’t get to be the knight you wanted.”

  “But you see, I did. My brothers and sisters who took up Father’s profession have been able to sustain the surrounding villages for a while now. Doing this? Picking up and leaving my village on a mission from the Lost Duchess and the Lost Princess? Riding alongside Bastien the Bold, two of the most decorated Wildmen, Duke Henri and Duke Lot? It’s more than I could’ve dreamed. I’m trying to say thank you. Thank you for choosing me as your healer. It’s nice to know that at forty-five, one can still feel like a boy on an adventure.”

  I tried to maintain the thread of conversation, despite how exhausted the whole ordeal left my body. “I’m happy for you. You totally rode with the best of them. I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for you cutting those snakes out of my leg.” The sweat was thick on me now, and crazy uncomfortable. “Dude, I gotta wash off. I’m super way disgusting.”

  “I can help you with that.”

  Before he could help slide me down the embankment into the river, Bastien stumbled back to us, kicking off his shoes and rolling up his jeans that were muddy at the knees. “She still sweating out the poison? Reyn needs you to check on him, Remy. I did what I could to steady him, but he’s still a little out of it.”

  “What’s wrong with Reyn?” I asked as Remy’s thoughts turned worried. He left us to help where he was more needed.

  “Nothing’s wrong with Reyn. Everyone gets a little worn out. You try keeping yourself, a duchess, and a princess safe, while riding on a horse for as long as he did yesterday and see how you like it.” The angry note in his tone was back, and I could tell that by asking about Reyn, I was stepping on a nerve. Something was very wrong with Reyn, something maybe not even Remy could fix, but I knew better than to ask any further.

  I didn’t bite back. I decided to let his anger sizzle out in the open so he could examine it untarnished by my reaction. He unbuttoned his flannel shirt, turning away from me as he took off his white t-shirt underneath. I knew better than to look at him, though the desire was there. I loved his larger than life hard body, but it was clear he did not. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, as if daring me to look his way with any hint of even thinking about his scars. He moved to stand in the creek, friggin’ shirtless, highlighting the unavoidable fact that I was sweaty, gross, and stained with mud. He was strong, and I had a hard time pushing myself up to sit. I crawled over to the edge of the creek a healthy few yards from where he stood.

  “I’m over here,” he informed me, as if I’d chosen distance from him by accident.

  “And I’m over here. Your mood swings seem like they need a little space.” I leaned over and splashed water on my face with shaking hands that screamed at me to go to sleep. My eyelids drooped, and my lower lip fell slack as a string of drool fell into the river. Sexy, I know.

  He huffed, as if he had any sort of right to be exasperated by me. “Rinse off for real. You’re filthy.” He sloshed over me, cupped his hands and dumped water over my head that was bent down over the creek.

  The simple pressure of the water was too much. It threw me off-balance and tilted me forward. I collapsed into the creek face-first, not even caring that I could barely lift myself up. After drowning with no water anywhere near me, drowning in two feet of river seemed like a fitting way to go.

  Bastien pulled me up, his eyes wide with worry, startled that his “help” had been the thing that upended me. He sat me up in the river, making sure I was steady before letting me go. The water lapped at my ribs, soaking through my clothes and cooling me with merciful ease. “Sorry about that,” Bastien muttered.

  I stared ahead into the dark, holding my arms around my ribs. “I’m used to you by now.”

  Bastien stammered a few huffs, irritated that he was required to keep his attitude in check. Eventually he acquiesced, deflating with a humble, “I really didn’t mean to tip you into the river like that.”

  “Be nicer to me,” I said without putting any icing on the correction. I was tired of his constant push and pull, and wanted it to stop.

  “Don’t tell me how to be.”

  “Be nicer to me,
” I repeated. “Being Untouchable has turned you into a raging dick. Avalon may act like you’re God’s gift, but man, what a waste.”

  Bastien spoke through gritted teeth. “Don’t act like you understand what life’s like down here. You don’t.”

  “You survived the Queen’s Army, got yourself a second lease on life, and this is what you do with it? This is who you are now? This is how you talk to women?” I shook my head. “Total waste.”

  I could feel Bastien’s hard gaze on me, trying to figure out my moves when I’d already laid my cards out on the table. I knew who I was, and had been pretty clear on that front, but he was still guessing. Finally, his shoulders dropped. “No one talks to me how you do.”

  “It’s no surprise to me you’ve surrounded yourself with people who cower to your almighty temper. It’s what all bullies do.”

  Bastien frowned, his eyebrows knitting together. “I’m not a bully.”

  At this, I looked pointedly up at him, not saying anything, but letting his own conscience stir to see if there were enough pieces of it to resurrect into something real.

  Oh, how I wanted something real. In a land of make-believe, it was the one thing I craved.

  When he finally spoke, it was my turn to feel the blast of surprise. “I didn’t used to be a bully, anyway. You can’t ask about Reyn. It sets me off when people… Just leave him be. He’s been through enough.”

  “For the record, telling me what I’m allowed to care about is super way controlling. Not the best way to shake the bully persona you seem so fond of. Reyn’s a good guy; I’m allowed to ask about him if he’s hurt.”

  Bastien exhaled, closing his eyes. “You’re right. I hate that you’re right. Reyn’s not… And I’m…” He motioned between the two of us. “I’m not good at this.”

  “Understatement, buddy.” I pulled my knees to my chest as I sat in the water, shivering. Each shudder was painful, and I was desperate to get to a point where my body wasn’t under such duress. “I don’t feel so hot,” I eked out through chattering teeth.

  “Yeah? Well, you look amazing,” Bastien responded sarcastically. He bent over and mussed my filthy hair, kneeling next to me in the river.

  “You’re a jerk,” I mumbled, and then moved to all fours so I could dunk my head under the water. When I came up, remaining on my knees, I could feel him watching me in the dark that was lit only by the blue moon and the stars. “Be who you wish you were, Bastien. Don’t be who they tried to break you down into. Then they win. You may have lived through everything they put you through, but if you spread your venom like this, then you still work for them. Don’t be bitter and old. Be amazing and young with me.”

  Bastien ran his fingers through his hair several times before his movements calmed. “I can’t imagine a better offer. Next time you ask about Reyn, I’ll try to be good.” He took in a long drag of air to cleanse his soul. “Next time you step on a landmine, I’ll try not to blow up.”

  “I forgive you,” I offered, though he hadn’t actually apologized. I let the gentle lapping of the water be the only conversation between us for a few beats, and it seemed to ease the volatile nature of who we were together.

  I reached up a shaky hand to rest on his wrist, making sure my voice warbled with weakness that wasn’t too far off to fake. “B-Bastien?” I choked out.

  “Yeah, honey?” He bent further to hear my quiet request.

  His little terms of endearment always caressed my heart with a coo of sweetness, knowing how prone he was to shutting down all signs of a softer side.

  I gripped Bastien’s wrist and yanked, pulling him forward with all my diminished strength and leaning sideways so he fell right into the water next to me. He stood up, soaking wet, deciding between fuming and laughing. I managed a wan smile that caught his lopsided one at just the right moment. “Thought you could use a bath.”

  I saw the glimmer of play dance in his eyes mere seconds before he pounced. “You think so? I think you need a bath!” He dunked me under the water, pulling me up a breath later when he saw how out of it my body actually was. “You shouldn’t start a war when you can’t back it up with a real fight,” he scolded me. “Get over here.”

  My chest moved unevenly as Bastien sat down in the few feet of water, pulled me across his lap and cradled me. I was weightless for the span of time that I was in his arms. Sure, you could blame that on the water, but any scientist will tell you water’s only so buoyant. It was playing with Bastien that made me feel lighter. He made a horrible day end on a smirky note.

  “That poison’s no joke,” I admitted. “Thanks for, you know, not letting me bite off my tongue.”

  He held up the finger he’d shoved in my mouth during my seizure. “I’ll be needing a month with your healer after the number you did on my finger. I mean, would you look at that? If you’re hungry, eat some berries, not me!” He displayed the cut and marked-up index finger to me with a wounded expression as he leaned against the embankment. It felt so natural, laying around with him. “You bit up my chest, too. I didn’t know you had such a strong jaw.”

  I pressed his sore finger to my lips and kissed it. “Bastien?” I leaned into his arm that was supporting my back.

  “Yeah, baby?”

  I smiled at the flirty address that felt so very natural. “I have a question, and I want a straight answer.”

  “Hit me.”

  “Do you think Reyn’s sister knows she’s engaged to you?”

  Bastien grew serious, studying my fingers as he laced them through his. “I don’t see how she would. She fell asleep before I went to her father.”

  “So she wouldn’t care if I kissed you?” I asked quietly.

  He slowly moved his head from side to side. “No. She wouldn’t care. I’m just Reyn’s angry friend to her, nothing more.”

  My face was dripping just as his was, but I couldn’t wait another minute to press my lips to his and see what all the fuss was about. “Bastien?”

  His words came out husky, his caramel eyes blinking unrequitedly at me through his long, wet lashes. “Kiss me, Daisy. I’m dying for it over here.”

  No one had ever been dying for a kiss from me before. I leaned in, doing my best to ignore the alarms screaming in my head that I didn’t know what I was doing, and might mess up my very first kiss. Lane had told me that when it was with the right guy, I wouldn’t question myself so much, that I’d just go for it, and it would feel right. Easy. Like I’d always known how.

  My wet lips lightly brushed across the crest of his, and our eyes swept shut to remain as sealed in the moment as we possibly could. My heart was pounding as I leaned a millimeter closer, ready to take the plunge I’d been waiting for.

  36

  Uncle, Cousin and Hidden Sneers

  “Hurry! Bring him down here. They’re coming!” Rousseau splashed into the creek a few feet away, breaking us apart with a blast of reality. He ducked under the bridge with us, crumbling the romance. We’d had a near-death experience, coupled with the blue moonlight encouraging us to make the most of our up and down connection, but I’d taken too long to make my move.

  “Soldiers marching this way,” Bayard announced. He helped a barely upright Reyn hide with us under the bridge.

  “Of course,” Bastien grumbled. “That just figures. Where are the others?”

  Bayard set Reyn down next to us in the water, his chin drooping downward toward his chest. “Are you kidding me? What’ve you been doing down here while we sorted it all out? We need the Princess to calm the horses, to tell them to be quiet and lay together in the woods.”

  Bastien was on the job, lifting me out of the water and carrying me to the thick smattering of trees to our left. “We’re picking that kiss back up just as soon as we get a minute to ourselves,” he informed me. “Now do your thing, horse girl.”

  “I’ve been called worse.”

  Lane’s face was streaked with tears and pinched with anxiety that broke when she saw me. She abandoned the hors
es she, Henri and his two children were trying to calm in the thick of the woods as the troops marched toward us in the distance. “Baby? Rosie? How’re you feeling?”

  I shrugged, trying to pass off my torment as no big thing. “I’m totally fine. It was more annoying than anything else.” I rapped my knuckles on Bastien’s chest. “Could you let me down? I’ve got to go sit with the horses.”

  Bastien lowered my legs but held tight to my hand, walking my exhausted body through the forest and over to the horses with Lane, who steadied my elbow. I tried to hobble with pep in my half-step so she didn’t worry, but it was a bad acting job. My good leg wasn’t up for the task of supporting my weight, but I cheered it on all the same, telling my body this was no time to punk out on me. Lane kept tight to my side, letting me get her all wet, and stood with me while I talked to the horses. I’m pretty sure I freaked out Damond, who let out a noise of distress when the horses he hadn’t been able to calm down each laid one by one next to each other, tucking their heads down so they didn’t move around and make too much noise. They lay nestled tight together like giant kittens, all but purring up at me.

  “How did you do that?” Damond balked, more scared of me than the army we could hear marching in our direction.

  I opened my mouth to answer, but Bastien whispered, “Gwen! Help me with Reyn. This spot isn’t as hidden as the patch of rocks the others are hiding behind. Everyone should hide there who isn’t needed here.”