Tease Page 2

  “He’s out of town.” That part was true. Ollie was still in Sakuna with Prince Langgam, helping him get the country back on its feet.

  “Let’s go. You’re coming home with me. Ollie can come pick you up when he gets back.”

  Danny, Graham, Boston and Alton postured. “October has to stay here until the baby comes,” Danny ruled.

  Unbidden emotion swelled up inside my chest, easing my temper. I’d wanted to be welcomed into Judge’s home for years, but not like this. I wanted to pal around with him, like the old days. I gazed up at him, wishing so many things hadn’t gone so very wrong. Confusion and hope that felt like hurt formed a knot in my throat, making my voice squeak. “You want me to come to your house?”

  “Absolutely not. Who even is this guy?” Danny was livid that a stranger came in that he didn’t give the all-clear on. He kept giving Ollie’s door furtive glances, and I knew he was trying to lock Mariang in the bedroom with his mind.

  Judge kept a stern face, but his midnight eyes gave away how much he regretted sending me, Ollie and Allie away all those years ago, telling us never to come back. “Of course I’d let you stay at my place. I’d do anything to keep you safe.”

  I took a tentative step closer, searching for answers. “Your home is a safe place?” I knew the answer to that, but wished for a beautiful lie that would save the day. Oh, how I longed for Judge to be my safe place.

  Judge hesitated, unable to fib to cover the hard truths of his life. “I have security.”

  “So do I.” I motioned around the living room to the guys. “They’re watching the house for me while I’m pregnant.”

  Judge rubbed his forehead in frustration. It was a rare thing to see him so without a plan. He valued control and power, but he’d walked straight into my home, knowing he’d have none. In that simple gesture, I knew that Judge loved me. “Jeez, baby girl. What kind of danger are you in?”

  “No danger,” I lied. “My new stepfather’s the overprotective type. So’s the father of the baby. He’s out right now, but these are his brothers, so you don’t have to worry.”

  Judge sneered at the guys, whose fingers were all itching to grab at their knives. They had knives, but Judge had a gun. “No. Just... no. You’re coming home with me right now. I don’t like the idea of you living with a bunch of men I haven’t vetted. This isn’t safe.” He leveled his finger in Danny’s direction. “Get your hand off of her. You’re too close to my sister.”

  Of course Danny didn’t obey, nor did he bother with a retort.

  “I wish I could come with you, Judge. Believe me, some days I want nothing more than to run straight to you,” I admitted, letting the barbed wire I kept around my heart fall into disrepair. “But you handle your problems, and I’ll handle mine.”

  “I can help you.”

  Danny was in no mood. “She’s got all the help she needs.”

  “Are you still touching her?” Judge barked with too much aggression in his bite.

  I shook my head, talking over Danny’s acerbic reply. “You can stay with me around the clock? I’m on bedrest, Judge. These guys are helping me until the baby comes.”

  “Is this you laying down in your invisible bed?” His black eyebrows furrowed. “Get in your bed right now, if that’s where you’re supposed to be!” He snapped his fingers at the guys, livid. “You’re supposed to be watching her? Make sure she follows the doctor’s orders, understand? What’s wrong with the baby, October? Do you want me to hire a nurse to watch you?”

  Danny stiffened, his snarl pronounced at someone telling him how to do his job, but he said nothing.

  I tried to keep my chin up to appear convincing. “The baby’s alright. You don’t have to worry about me.”

  Judge drew me in for another hug, knowing we both needed the comfort. Also, I think he wanted to tug me away from Danny. “That’s the thing about us. I never stopped worrying about you, just like you never stopped caring about me, hoping I’d do the right thing and turn my life around.” He cleared his throat. “Don’t make me tell you twice to get in that bed right now.”

  I nodded into Judge’s crisp white shirt. The pressed material contrasted with his dark skin, and as much as I knew he didn’t like his shirts to wrinkle, I couldn’t let go. When I didn’t end the hug with a brisk brush-off, Judge felt my vulnerability. He cupped the back of my head to steady me against his shoulder, giving me a portion of his strength that I was too prideful to ask for. It was nearly half a minute before I pulled out of the embrace I tried not to need. Judge was the home I’d been kicked out of, but never stopped wanting to return to. I didn’t expect him to follow me into my bedroom, but there we were, with Graham holding tight to my elbow, and Danny in the doorway, watching like a hawk.

  “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?” Judge asked as he took my trembling hand and helped me into my bed.

  “Guys, this is my oldest friend, Judge.”

  “Do any of your new friends have names?”

  “No,” I warned before Graham could open his mouth to introduce himself. “None of them have names. Thank you for your concern, but I’m handling my situation, and myself. I don’t need help.”

  Judge pulled the covers up around my belly, tilting his head down at me curiously. We no doubt were having the same flashback, of him tucking me into Mama McCray’s bed. Every now and then, Ollie, Allie and I decided to stay late at the McCray house when Bev was too drunkenly violent to go home to. Judge would tuck me into his mama’s bed and make up bedtime stories about a princess who slayed dragons. Judge always gave me beautiful dreams. The princess had a protector who kept watch in the background, ready to intervene when the inferno grew too dangerous to handle on her own. “You’re not so little anymore,” Judge mused. “Don’t be stubborn, October. Come stay with me if anything comes up. I mean it. Call me, and I’ll come get you.”

  I nodded, and then bunched my hand in the front of his shirt, pulling him down so I could wrap my arms around his neck. I clung to him, despite my usual proclivity for space. It was a true testament to how much I’d grown, and how scared I was that I reached for Judge to anchor myself to the universe. “I know you would. Thank you. I really am fine, though. Honest.” Then I turned my cheek to whisper in his ear. “Remember when you sent us away? Well, now I have to do the same thing to you. My world is getting... I don’t want you involved in what I’m buried in.”

  Judge squeezed me, holding me tight to his chest for a few beats while we both relished how rare a thing it was for us to both leave ourselves unguarded enough to be human and scared. Judge kissed my forehead and laid me back down, his eyebrow creased with worry. “I don’t like this. I worried enough with you working at the prison, pretending danger was no big deal. That you’re scared now? Promise me that you’ll call when you need to get out of whatever it is you’re trapped in.”

  “I promise. Now I need you to go, and to stay away until things blow over for me, understand? I can’t worry about you getting hurt.”

  “That’s not how this works. I’m the older brother. I worry about you.”

  My smile was weak, but it surfaced all the same. “The guys have the house guarded twenty-four hours a day.” I didn’t pull away when he clutched my hand. The two notes of our skin looked beautiful together, and wish as I might, the little girl inside of me missed Judge every day. When he was around, I didn’t have to have all the answers. Lately it felt like my whole life had turned into one big question mark. “I love you,” I admitted, softening further when he kissed my knuckles and then held my hand to his chest. “Now you have to go. I need you safe, Judge. So stay away until I come see you again.”

  Judge’s lashes swept shut through a wince of pain. “You’re killing me, baby girl. This is what I did to you? Because it hurts.”

  “And I’ll do it again and again if it keeps you alive.”

  Judge hugged me once more before he exited, pausing to stare down Danny in the doorway in silent threat.

&n
bsp; I wasn’t fine by any stretch of the imagination, but I wasn’t buried, either.

  No. I wasn’t buried yet.

  Two.

  Fatty

  After a day where I was actually clean, wearing fresh non-pajamas and went for a long walk with Graham and Alton, I felt like I could breathe again. Judge had been worried about me, which meant I needed to get my act together, lest I lean on him when I knew I couldn’t. The ache in my chest never went away; being abandoned took a certain skillset to deal with. Unfortunately, I was well-versed in that particular talent.

  When Danny and Mariang got home from a day of reaping, it was decided we’d all watch a movie, now that they weren’t afraid of making noise that would disturb my mourning.

  “How about Love in Pieces with Johnny?” Mariang suggested, smiling hopefully at the title she’d picked off my streaming movie channel.

  Graham and Alton sighed quietly through their polite smiles, but Boston didn’t feel the need to hold back. “No and never. Danny has to sit through the boring love movies, but I’m not married to you. The only movie I want to watch is if Johnny gets ripped into pieces, his guts splattered by some kind of home-fashioned rusty weapon, or an alien of some sort. I’ll also accept zombies.”

  Mariang deflated when Graham and Alton chimed in with their preference that was more in line with Boston’s than her emotion-filled flick. She tossed the remote to Alton, who fumbled with it before holding it the right way and selecting a movie that looked awesome – just the right amount of gore and non-plot. It was my poison of choice. It didn’t have Bruce Campbell in it, but every movie needs a flaw, I guess.

  It took a few starts and stops, but I eventually stood up from the couch and moved to the kitchen to pop some popcorn for everyone. After about two minutes, Danny found his way next to me, his hand on my back to pull from me so I didn’t go into labor. “You shouldn’t wander off like that.”

  I didn’t answer, not wanting to fight over the fact that I’d simply stepped into the next room, not driven to Toledo on a whim. “How’s Mariang holding up, reaping by herself?”

  “She’s amazing. Like you were before you got knocked up. Strong, young. Barely tired after reaping six souls.”

  “Six? She only needs to do two to keep things afloat.”

  The corner of Danny’s mouth angled upward. “We were thinking of going on a ten-day cruise for our belated honeymoon. She wants to make sure you won’t have to reap until September’s a month old.” He looked down at me with too much hinting in his tone. “Not a bad consideration, if you ask me.”

  “That’s real nice of her. And yeah, when I’m back to work, I can make sure she has a nice, long maternity leave, too. You know me; I always work to the max when I can.”

  “I do know that about you, yes.” We listened to the popcorn dance and crackle in the microwave, filling the kitchen with the tease of buttery goodness. “You’re out of bed,” he commented.

  “You should be a detective. Nothing gets by you.”

  “That’s good. I know I should be mad because you’re on bedrest, but it’s nice to see you with a little life in you. You’re being funny and you’re not hiding under the covers. Maybe I should thank that Judge friend of yours for stopping by. You’ve seemed more yourself since then.” Danny lowered his voice. “Any more dreams about Sama?”

  “No,” I answered quickly. “No dreams at all.” I let that statement hang between us, cluing him into the fact that either Von had been awake while I was asleep, or we weren’t in love anymore. Oh, how quickly it all devolved. I rubbed my belly to remind myself that I had to keep it together for September.

  “That’s good, but it sucks. I’m sorry Von’s being a wanker.”

  “You warned me.” I sighed, getting out a big bowl from under the counter. “You know, if the whole detective thing doesn’t work out for you, you could be a legit shrink with poetic empathy like that.”

  Danny chuckled, his hand on my back wrapping around my hips to pull me into one of the hugs he was getting much better at doling out. I shrugged away from the comforting touch. “What?” Danny asked of my sudden shunning, affronted.

  “You can’t hug me. I don’t know why, but I can’t take it. It’s like you squeeze the tears out of me, and I’m doing better today.”

  “Mariang hugs you. So does Boston. I’m trying to be more... you know, better at stuff like that. You told me to be nicer! You said the babies would be happier if I was nice,” he accused. Now he wore a solid frown that replaced the smile that had been more readily at the surface lately.

  “They will be, and you’re doing a great job. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m an emotional basket case, and you’re one of the few people I actually feel kind of safe around. When you hug me? I feel all the things I can’t fix.”

  “Me? You feel safe around me? I make you be able to break down?” He was stunned, as if I’d just told him he held the key to the magical land of Narnia. “No one’s ever told me that besides Mariang.”

  I shrugged and pulled the bag of popcorn out of the microwave by the edges. “Well, you can’t be nice to me today. It’ll make me remember that Von’s not here, and that Ollie’s still not home. I’ll remember that I’m alone, and I can’t go there right now.” I shook my head, my mouth in a tight line. “Don’t look at me like that. You’re being nice with your eyes.”

  “Man, your mood swings are hard to follow.”

  “That’s good. Now call me fat or something, so I don’t want to break down and sob whenever you’re around because I know you’ll be good to me. Be mean to me, or I’ll cry all over you,” I threatened.

  Danny chuckled at my logic. “I’m not calling you fat.”

  “Call me fat, or I’ll cry right now. I’ll do it, Danny. I’ve got a bucket of tears on standby.”

  “Okay, fine. You’re fat as a cow. You should start auditions to become a sumo wrestler. Now do you feel better?”

  Mariang entered the kitchen at the tail end of our exchange. “Danny! October is not fat! She’s pregnant, and she’s carrying the baby like a graceful lady of dignity. Don’t ever say anything like that to her.” She flitted over and hugged me, forcing me to hold my breath so I didn’t dissolve into tears at her tender affection. “You are not fat. You’re perfect. Absolutely perfect.”

  Danny spluttered. “But I... I didn’t mean... She made me do it! I give up.” He threw out his hands in exasperation. “Now I’m taking all the bloody popcorn, so make your own bowl, fatty!”

  A laugh burst out of me, unbidden, as Mariang ramped up a rant to put Danny in his place.

  It wasn’t perfect, but these were my people, for better or worse.

  Three.

  The Other Girl

  That night I went to bed with Graham and Boston. Boston was my constant bedmate, since we’d already built up a weird rapport with each other. Sometimes Boston cried in the middle of the night, and I was decent at calming him down. Alton and Graham rotated, with the other sharing Ollie’s bed with Danny and Mariang to give her a double pull, which made her twice as strong for her day of reaping. You know, like the superwoman I used to be.

  I missed Mason terribly, and felt wrong sleeping without him or Von, but I made do. I used Boston’s leg like a body pillow, while Graham pressed his back to mine, ensuring I was encased all through the night so I didn’t up and have the baby in my bed. I don’t know when I stopped being weirded out sharing sheets with two grown men, but somehow I was able to fall asleep.

  “You!” whooshed a voice I wished I didn’t recognize. It was Philip, not Von, running toward me in my dream on the beach where we’d first made love. His white-blond hair was bouncing in the night air, and his beach shorts-clad body looked every bit as muscular as I remembered.

  “Get back!” I ordered, conjuring up a long, heavy sword in my hand. I don’t know why I didn’t dream up a gun or a ninja or a tank or something, but apparently the slasher movie we’d watched that evening had taken up all the good weapons. “Go
away, Sama!” I snarled when he stopped short a few feet from me. “Yeah, that’s right. I know who you are now, and I don’t want anything to do with you.”

  Philip looked like I’d injured his feelings. The stars shone down in the navy sky, highlighting his pain. “That’s a hell of a thing to say to the father of your child.”

  “This isn’t your baby!” I roared, hoping my volume had the power to control genetics. “This is Von’s baby. Von loves me, and we’re having this baby together. I thought you were fake, but you were just using me so you could try to have a child.”

  Philip went from hurt to scowling. “You only know what Ezra’s poisoned your mind to think. If it weren’t for that insufferable Kapre, I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’d be able to have children with whomever I wished. Your mind was open, and we were a good fit. You can’t deny that.”

  “Except I didn’t even know your real name or who you actually were! I thought you were pretend.” I swished the sword between us when he took a step forward. It was much bulkier than the one I’d ganked off the Mer-soldier in the war on Kabayo’s land so long ago.

  Philip sighed in exasperation. “Who taught you how to hold that thing? Come here.” Before I could stab him through the guts, he was next to me, his hand on mine as he moved the sword through the air with more precision. “Like that. See? And your front foot should point in the direction the sword starts at.” He nudged my bare foot with the instep of his, and then jabbed the sword forward again. “See? Now you have more control.”

  I frowned, temporarily forgetting myself. “Oh, like this?” I tried a sweep, leaning forward as his hand guided mine while we clutched the hilt together.

  “That’s better. Needs work, though. And this blade’s much too big for you. Try not moving with your whole body so much. Keep your hips centered.”

  “Hello, I’m like, crazy pregnant. I couldn’t find my center if I had a roadmap.”