Ugly Girl Page 13

  Bastien was exasperated. “Would you just let it go? It’s been hours! So I snapped at you. So what?”

  “Why do you care if I’m quiet? What’s it to you? You’re still getting everything you want out of this deal. I’m still helping you find Roland. Why do you care if I like you or not through it all? Leave me alone!”

  “This is how I’m going to die. This woman right here. You’re going to be the death of me with all this drama!”

  “Hello! You’re the drama queen. I defend you when you’re caught in a fight, I help patch you up, I hold you when you’re going through the crack of it, and you bite my head off! No animal has ever treated me like the dog you must think I am. I don’t care how you are with Reyn, your fiancée and your buddies who are used to you. You don’t get to skate by after treating me like that. Now shut up and let me drive, or so help me, I’ll pull this car over right now!” My fury reached its crest when I realized I sounded like my imaginary Superman dad on our infamous road trips to nowhere. I smiled to myself, and Hamish sat his butt down on my thigh, his arms crossed as he stood guard to make sure Bastien didn’t run his mouth anymore.

  Reyn broke the silence. “Silvain was from the Queen’s Army. Can I assume you don’t know much about them?”

  “You can assume I know nothing about your world.”

  “Very well. The Queen’s Army serves all sorts of purposes. They help rebuild cities that need it, they distribute food to the needy, and they defend our territory from any creature that threatens it, theoretically.” I waited for the “but”, and Reyn let it fly. “But in the last few years, they’ve grown aggressive. Less concerned with keeping the peace and more concerned with just keeping. Sometimes taking what isn’t theirs. Land, food, women, you name it.”

  “That’s awful.”

  Judah chimed in. “We’ve had a bit of that in other parts of the world, or in history books, telling how things were centuries before we were born.”

  I finally tore my eyes away from the road to glimpse Reyn’s barely controlled pain. It pulled down the corners of his mouth into a twisted grimace of memories that still tortured him as if they were fresh. “What did they take from you?” I asked quietly.

  “I told you my father is a judge. Well, he threw a few soldiers into the stocks for roughing up a farmer who wouldn’t hand over his crops just because they demanded it on their march through the city ‘for our safety.’ My father never cowered before that, but he’s not the same man anymore. I can’t imagine anyone would be after how they retaliated.”

  “I’m afraid to ask.”

  Bastien answered when the prolonged pause indicated that Reyn could not. “They took the judge’s daughter, Rachelle, and gave her to Captain Burke. He raped her, impregnated her and abandoned her in town square, disgraced and beaten.”

  I was so shocked that I almost veered off the road. I couldn’t let that piece of horror go with a simple, “I’m so sorry,” so I pulled onto the shoulder and flung open my door, ignoring the few cars that whipped by in the dark as I ran to Reyn’s side and threw open his door. It was my turn to pull him out of the car and hold him. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he cradled my head to his shoulder. “Reyn, that’s the most awful thing I ever heard. I can’t believe your government allows that! What happened to your sister? How’d she deal?”

  Reyn combed his long fingers through my curls, comforting me through his pain. He was strange like that. “They sent her back barely alive, trapped in a deep sleep with a spell. We’ve tried everything to wake her, but it’s been a year, and nothing.”

  “A year?! What happened to the baby?”

  “Died inside of her. But not before my sister’s honor was questioned throughout the city.”

  I shook my head, trying to add up all the variables that I knew about Avalon. “But I thought you lived in a matriarchal society. My mother wouldn’t allow that.” I tried to state the obvious with certainty, but Reyn’s carefully composed compassionate expression gave me pause.

  “Any ruler – male or female – lets their people fall to ruin if they hold no love for them in their heart. Morgan le Fae cares only for herself and expanding her territory. If the soldiers are happy in their depravity and she looks the other way, then they follow her, ever more loyal. All she has to do is nothing – an act she’s perfected over the years.”

  Dread sank low in my gut. I wanted my mother to be a defender of the downtrodden, but it sounded like she didn’t give a crap about any of it. “Your sister… Reyn, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Bastien stood up for Rachelle when her good name was being dragged through the mud. He went to my father and offered to say he’d marry her to save her name. To save my father’s name. Rachelle doesn’t even know she’s engaged. I doubt even she knows what her older brother’s best friend did for her. I doubt she can hear us through her slumber.”

  I mulled over the facts while I remained in Reyn’s arms. Despite everything, there was a wave of safety I felt being near the man I barely knew. “That’s a terrible story, Reyn.”

  “It is. Bastien’s hard to understand, but there’s enough good there to make up for the difficult spots. Be patient with him. He’s not used to someone like you.”

  “Like me?” I scrunched my nose. “What am I like?”

  “You’re like him.”

  I pulled away, my mouth hanging open at the words that rang in the air around me. Surely that couldn’t be true. I decided to ignore the parts I didn’t want to hear and gave Reyn’s hand a squeeze. “We should get going. I didn’t want to make you tell me your awful story without someone to hug you through it.”

  The corner of Reyn’s mouth twitched upward, and he looked down at me with unconcealed appreciation. “And I thank you for that. Shall we?”

  We got back in and drove in silence until the tug in my gut told me we’d arrived. At a tiny ranch. In the middle of nowhere. Nothing ominous about that. I called Lane, who told me we needed to park and hike inland toward the mountains for five miles, and that she’d find us when we got close. The guys put their packs on their backs with all the things they’d traveled with over to my world. I shoved my trail mix into Reyn’s backpack and tried not to let my frayed nerves show when my exhaustion coupled with the prospect of going into a whole new world I knew nothing about. I didn’t know how to feel about my mom and dad, so I tried not to think about them. I had a cousin, though, and the promise of meeting Roland drove me forward. Maybe Roland loved soccer, too, and we could play together in the backyard of his castle, once we rescued him. Maybe he would take one look at me, and instantly see the sister he’d always wanted in his family. Having a cousin sounded super amazing, and though I was worried about the actual extraction of him from the ominous Forgotten Forest, part of me wanted to go there at a run, and reclaim the family I’d never known.

  I’d always wanted a big family, though I’d never had the heart to confess that to Lane. She’d been family enough to fill those gaps on the surface, but beneath my skin lay cracks and holes that had been spackled over but never fully filled. I had a real, live cousin, and maybe a few aunts lurking about. We could go Christmas shopping together and pick out matching sweaters to wear. I wondered if my aunts were as fun as Lane, or if Lane was a true original, as I’d always thought her. I began to plan dance parties, and candy-centric events that I could share with my new family.

  Hamish scampered along beside me, talking away and pointing out the things that stood out to him. Squirrels saw the world mostly in shades of nuts. This kind of tree produces this kind of nut, that tree was good for hiding these types of nuts, and so forth. Hamish was a chatty one, and I welcomed the distraction. When he asked if I was hungry, I shook my head. I was too nervous to eat.

  “What’s wrong? You’re shaking your head,” Reyn said as he walked next to me. Reyn and Bastien were on either side, sandwiching me from whatever harm they were on high alert against. There was nothing but dirt and mountains surrounding us, but apparently
they still needed to hover.

  “Nothing. I was talking to Hamish.”

  “Hamish?”

  I pointed to the squirrel, who put his hands on his hips to give Reyn all kinds of attitude to make sure he never forgot just who Hamish was ever again. I kinda liked how feisty my little guy was. He had words when I didn’t. “Hamish is my squirrel. He’s coming with me as far as he feels like.”

  “That’s weird,” Bastien stated flatly. “It’s like you have people you talk to in your head. You’ve been having whole conversations with a squirrel while ignoring us.”

  “Ignoring you. There’s a difference. Reyn can say whatever he wants to me. Judah and I never argue for more than half a day. You can talk to the voices in your head all you like. See if they can knock some sense into you.”

  “This reminds me why I never lived with a woman. So much crying about nothing.”

  “Can I say I’m not terribly surprised no woman could stand to live under the same roof as you?” I stomped on ahead and let Hamish yell at Bastien until he got a little too offensive on my behalf. “Hamish! I appreciate it, but you don’t need to talk like that. I’m still a lady, and I can hear you.” I did my best to feel like a lady, but that image always fell flat. I was married to my soccer shoes and owned exactly zero dresses. Something told me that a legit lady would own at least a skirt.

  Bastien lost his fight to a chuckle. “I guess I really was wrong if I made your guard dog this angry.” He held up his hands in surrender. “Fine. I said some things back there that I shouldn’t have. I knew Silvain well and didn’t think he’d… It doesn’t matter. You were fine, and I was… I shouldn’t have…” It was like he couldn’t work out an entire apology without choking on his words.

  I eyed the confusing act of Bastien humbling himself, and slowly bobbed my head. “Alright. Me too, I guess. Truce it out?”

  Bastien offered his hand in apology, and I shook it without any underlying note of aggression, though I wasn’t sure how much I was trusting his surrender. “I wasn’t expecting Silvain. Seeing him like that really threw me.”

  “You weren’t expecting your old buddy to show up in another dimension and attack us?” I gave him a wry smile to ease the fight between us. “For what it’s worth, I’m real sorry it all went down like that. I can’t imagine if one of my friends tried to get the jump on me. I probably wouldn’t handle it all that gracefully.”

  Bastien shook his head to scold me. “See? You’re doing it again.”

  “What?”

  “That nice thing. I was a jerk. You can say it.”

  I tilted my head up at him. “Do you want me to think you’re a jerk?”

  “No.”

  I shrugged. “Then don’t be one. Easy-peasy.”

  Bastien smirked at my phrasing. “‘Easy-peasy?’”

  “Careful,” I warned with a faux frown. “That sounded almost cutesy. If people hear you talking like that, they’ll start expecting smiles and songs from you. Best keep up that surly front you’ve been working so hard to perfect.” I mimicked his glare with my eyebrows pushed together and my shoulders tensed in preparation for a fight from a butterfly.

  Bastien rolled his eyes at me. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go, you ridiculous girl.”

  “Funny, I was just about to call you the same thing.” I smirked at his mimed laughter at my dig.

  Hamish scampered to my side, scurrying up my leg, on my hip and onto my shoulder so he could get a free ride and remind me he was my best friend. “I love you, too, buddy.” Love was easy to give and receive with animals.

  People were trickier.

  16

  My Love for Judah and Lane

  “Where are we staying when we get to your world?” Judah asked.

  At this, I stopped, turning to face him. “Judah, I can’t have you crossing over with me. I want you to take the car and go on home.”

  “You can’t be serious. This is Middle Earth we’re talking about.”

  “Yes, and it’s a world where the military doesn’t give a crap about people’s rights, and where I’ll be hunted for who knows how long. I won’t put you in the thick of that. Would you let me come if the situation were reversed?”

  Judah didn’t pause to see it from my point of view. “You’re not going in there without me. I’m coming, Ro. We’ve never lived farther away than you could throw a baseball.”

  I tilted my head at him, shoving my hands in my pockets of my jeans and tapping the toe of my shoe to his. “I don’t want to live somewhere new without you, either, but if something happened to you? Because of me?” I shook my head. “This is where you jump off the train and ride off into the sunset, cowboy.”

  Judah’s thin lips were set in a line of defiance. “It’s not your call. Lane can decide.”

  “Alright. We’ll see how much she’s going to want to risk your life. You have a family, Judah. Your mom needs you to get a degree and get a good job. Think of all she’s sacrificed for you! And Jill loves you. You should go back to her and make things right.”

  “You’re saying goodbye, but I haven’t agreed to up and abandon you.”

  “I don’t know when or if they’ll let me come back. You’ll really ditch Jill and your mom like that? This isn’t just some adventure that’s over in two hours. It might be weeks, or even longer. You’re willing to drop out of school for this?”

  I saw the hesitation, and though I wished for my security blanket to travel with me everywhere I went, I knew it was time to cut the cord if I wanted to save the baby. I reached forward and pushed his glasses up his nose. “Judah, you know you can’t come. Let’s blame it on school.”

  “Stupid school.” He tapped the toe of my Sambas with his sneakers.

  “Yeah. Stupid school.”

  Reyn played his role of peacemaker well, breaking the tension with neutral conversation. “We’ve got a friend who’s waiting on the Avalon side of the gate. When we get there, he’ll let us through. He’s part of the guard, so he’ll let us in without alerting the army.” When no one had anything to say to this, Reyn continued. “When we get to Avalon, Bastien and I can get us safely out of the barracks, so stick close to us.”

  “Where do you live?” I asked Reyn, unsure what to make of their veiled conversation.

  “A few houses down from my father in Nanti. Bastien lives just outside of Louche, deep in the woods. It’s closer to the gate, and there aren’t so many upstanding citizens who’ll report you if they happen to catch onto who you are. People tend to leave each other alone in Louche. It’s mostly hermits and grumps like Bastien.”

  “Very funny.” Bastien turned to me. “Plus, we don’t know the judge’s stance on you, so it’s not a good idea to bring you too near him. Puts him in a dangerous position if Morgan le Fae found out he knew about you being in Faîte and didn’t bring you straight to her Province. So for now, Hermitville is where it’s at.”

  “Alright. That’s fine. Then what? How do we find this horse?”

  Reyn shrugged. “We don’t really have a plan for that. I’m hoping your pal Hamish can help. Maybe you can talk to a few animals or something. Plus, you’re The Compass. You’re supposed to be able to find anything. If the animals don’t know where Roland is, then maybe you can just start walking and end up there.”

  “Well, with a solid plan like that, who can complain?” I tried to sound cheery, but it fell flat.

  “You guys have no plan,” Judah stated, calling them on all the BS I was too tired to bother with. “You’re expecting her to give up her life here and run after yours so she can fix it. Am I reading that right?”

  Bastien ground his teeth together. “You got something to say to me, kid?”

  “I do, as a matter of fact. You’re pushing Rosie around like she owes you or something. Well, she doesn’t. If she’s the daughter of a queen, that means her place is above yours, right?”

  Reyn nodded thoughtfully. “Her place is above mine. That’s correct. But if she can keep quiet about her title
, she’ll stay free longer.”

  “Fine, but when she’s around you two, make sure you both remember that she’s the best thing that ever came into your lives. She doesn’t owe you a thing. She’s a princess, and you’ll treat her like one.” The declaration with which he spoke my fake title was so sincere, I couldn’t help but gape at his conviction. “Rosie, don’t let them jerk you around, alright?”

  “Okay, Judah. Thanks.” I watched him nod and knew exactly why he’d been my closest friend through the years.

  Judah addressed Reyn, as if giving him the keys to the kingdom. “If she says she’s fine, check for broken bones or blood. If she says she’s hungry, it’s because she hasn’t eaten in like, a day. If she gets quiet, it means she’s yelling inside. She gets pretty violent when someone’s getting picked on, so watch you don’t push her too hard.”

  I balled my toes inside my shoes. “They don’t need a play-by-play. I’ll only be around them long enough to find the horse, then I’ll come back home. That should only take, what? A day? Day and a half?” I kidded.

  “You’d better.” Judah shook his head. “I don’t like this.”

  We walked in silence for a couple more miles. I was so tired, but knew I couldn’t say anything, for fear of being the weakest link. Hamish butted the top of his head to my jaw to offer some comfort, letting me know he saw me, that he heard me even when I kept my mouth shut. It’s a solid friend who can do that.

  I saw Lane in the distance, and despite my weighted body, I told Hamish to hold on as I broke out into a sprint, running toward her as if she was my only lifeline. Some days, that’s exactly what she was for me. We met in a crash of the greatest hug on earth since the last time I came home from school on mid-winter break. She held onto me as if she needed me there so she could breathe properly. I knew the feeling. “I was so afraid I lost you! I should’ve been the one to tell you the truth about it all. I know you must hate me. I’m sorry, Rosie! I’m so sorry!”