Torture (Terraway Book 3) Page 10

  Von tightened his knuckles around the steering wheel. “We’re equals on this trip, remember? She’s my charge, and I don’t want you calling her that. Don’t even think about it.” He pulled into the long driveway. “And I’ll know if you’re thinking about it.”

  “That’s enough out of you.”

  Von cut the ignition and ran around to extract me from Mason, who was starting to shiver from the cold I couldn’t help but exude. Ezra ran out to meet us, his perfect hair not daring to fall out of place. “No! What’s happened to her?”

  Von didn’t bother answering. He hefted me up, clinging to my rigid body. He ran me into the house, past Danny, Lynna and Mariang and up the stairs to the bathroom. He laid me on the floor with great care, and it was only then I noticed that I couldn’t move my arms or legs more than an inch back and forth. The shivering was uncontrollable, and my muscles had locked from the ice that felt somehow permanent. Von tore his clothes off down to his boxer briefs and took off my shoes and socks. Then he stepped into the steaming tub Danny had filled for us, wincing at the high temperature.

  I didn’t want Finn to lift me up, but he inched into the bathroom to lend a hand. I didn’t trust him to hold me or watch out for me when I couldn’t look out for myself. His arms were muscular, and I didn’t want to know how he went about obtaining the strength he had. I had a feeling it was more bashing skulls than lifting weights. He had that sinister no conscience look to him that gave me pause. But Finn was surprisingly gentle in the bathroom. He lowered me fully clothed onto Von’s lap once my Puller was settled in the hot water.

  The water was an instant relief, turning my skin rosy and relaxing me. After a minute of partial submersion, I was a limp noodle in Von’s arms. I could tell he was keeping up a constant stream of pulling to calm my body. I couldn’t help but marvel how he’d gone from lazy playboy who couldn’t adhere to a schedule, to a details-oriented coworker I counted on for nearly everything these days. Somehow we’d gotten to that elusive place where I could lean on him when I wasn’t able to stand on my own.

  It was a few minutes into the best bath of my life before I realized conversation was going on around me. Finn had been replaced by Ezra, who was barking at Von. “Never again!” Ezra thundered as he tossed a blood bag at Von, who wasted no time in guzzling it down. “I don’t ever want to see her barely alive like that. You should all know better than to compromise her. It’s too much!”

  “Funny that you think we let her do anything. This was all her suicide mission. This was her doing, and she promised this feat under your supervision, Ezra. Mason and I weren’t in the council meeting when this was decided.”

  “October Grace, don’t you dare test me on this. I know what I’m talking about. Having two Pullers doesn’t make you invincible! I watched my daughter diminish because Terraway pushed her too hard. I’ll not watch another daughter of mine go out in the same way!”

  I could barely lift my head to point my face in Ezra’s direction, but I caught his eye to examine his sincerity, taking it in to see if it could be dismantled by a stiff breeze. “You think of me as your daughter?”

  Ezra paused his tirade to cast me a look that showed the state of his wounded heart. “Of course I do. You really can’t see my affection for you?”

  I shook my head uncertainly. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I do, but then I remember that I’m the job. I’m the commodity, and that’s why you care.”

  Ezra rubbed his forehead, exhaling a bit of his disbelief at my cold heart I feared might never thaw. He was softer when he answered, gentler with the doubt I held tight in a fist I wanted to shake at the world. “When I marry your mother, it’ll be official, but even without that piece of paper, I look at you and see a daughter. I’m afraid I can’t help it. I adored you from the very first day I met you.”

  “B-But I shoved you when I first met you.”

  “Yes, and no matter how often you shove me, my love for you won’t change.”

  I blinked up at him, wet, still a little cold and very, very confused. “You’re not just using me to save Terraway?”

  Ezra dropped to his knees, reached into the tub and held my icy hands. He winced at the chill and dunked my fingers under the water. “Oliver has no use for Terraway, and I love him much the same. I’ve called him once a week for months just to get to know him better. I see you, and I’m glad you’re my daughter.”

  Ezra had too much good in him to be lying. I’d been lied to over and over, so many times that I developed a sixth sense about it. I searched his face, taking in the slight crinkles at the outside corners of his eyes, his Ken doll hair and the dress pants and pressed shirt he didn’t mind wrinkling if it meant I understood my place here better. The words were too good to be true, but somehow they were real.

  I took a chance and leaned forward, wrapping my arms around his neck in probably the worst hug of his life. I was freezing and soaking, but he didn’t pull away. I kept waiting for the separation that told me I was too messy for his perfect family, but it never came. He held me tight, pressing me to his firm chest with so much love, it threatened to choke the emotion right out of me. I was the girl born in trash, but he didn’t care. He saw me through the garbage and clung to me, as if I was the treasure he wanted to keep. As if I was too important to him to be thrown away.

  That last note of realization hit me hard. My own mama had thrown me away. Every item she brought into the house to edge us out cut a nick in my heart, whittling away the softness until I feared there was nothing left of me but the hard shell of scars and walls I had to have to keep myself alive and my heart beating. Ezra added to my life with his kindness, spackling in the cracks Bev had cut me with. He showed me I didn’t have to be alone. I could lean on him, and even though my childhood was sometimes too heavy for me to carry, Ezra was strong enough.

  “I’m scared it’s a lie,” I whispered, shivering in his arms. “That you’ll get to know me more and see something you don’t like. Then you’ll split, and it’ll hurt.”

  Ezra held me tighter, not caring that I’d soaked his shirt through. “Then tell me. Tell me the things you’re afraid I’ll abandon you over. Test me. I promise you, I won’t run.”

  I’m sure he hadn’t meant right then, but I couldn’t chance my moment slipping away. If this was real, I wouldn’t give myself the escape route to run out on the best thing that could happen to a nobody like me. A real dad was something I’d wanted too badly to be able to say out loud. Now that one was right here? I decided to jump at the test he offered up. I nodded into his shoulder. I kind of wished I could send Von away, but I knew I couldn’t be without a Puller after such a hard day. “Okay. What do you want to know?”

  “Only everything.” Ezra lowered me back onto Von’s lap, but remained at the side of the tub, holding my hand in the water as a sign that he wouldn’t run. My grip was arthritic, and it held him probably too tight, but I was scared if I loosened my grasp, he’d run away when my story grew too awful.

  “How is the water getting tepid already? It was steaming just a few minutes ago.” Ezra leaned over and let out a little of the barely warm water. Then he turned on the hot spigot to give me back a little feeling in my limbs.

  “It’s her. She’s cooling the water down faster than it can heat her up. Let more of the cold water out first.” Von leaned forward and shut off the hot water while Ezra put the towels on the floor next to the heating vent. Once the water drained, Von plugged up the tub and hissed as the scalding water hit his bare toes.

  “Oh, Von. I’m sorry. I’m b-burning your skin!”

  “It’s fine. I don’t mind.” He banded his arms around me, holding me tight as the heat started to rise in my quaking limbs. “Talk to Ezra. Tell him everything. I promise you, Peach, you can’t tell him anything that’ll scare him off. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

  Ezra held my hand, not caring that his clothes were wet, that I was a mess, and that I was about to hand him more than a qualified shrink could deal with
. He was sincere, and I’d been devastated by too many broken promises not to see the difference in Ezra. “Okay,” I said, clearing my throat as my shivering lessened. “Has Danny told you about her trailer?”

  Ezra’s eyes hardened. “Yes. Just this morning, actually. I couldn’t believe Danny would ever lie to me to try and break up our engagement, but there you have it.”

  “It’s not a lie. I’ll take you there sometime, if you want. I just need you to promise me something.”

  Ezra was hesitant, no doubt rethinking what he’d assumed was Danny’s propaganda. “Yes?”

  “I need you to still marry Bev. No matter what I tell you or what I show you, you have to marry her!” My voice cracked from distress and desperation, but I didn’t have the strength to feel ashamed of the blatant weakness. “I need someone to help me with her, Ezra. I can’t look after her all by myself! Ollie’s away, Allie’s completely gone. It’s just me, and I’m tired! I’m so tired. Promise me you’ll still be my dad even after you find out what she’s really like.”

  Ezra took in my odd plea warily. “I have no intention of leaving my fiancée because she doesn’t have a housekeeper. I love your mother.”

  My eyes closed as I leaned on Von, who was there for me at my most vulnerable. “Alright. Good. Then go get my phone from my bag. I don’t have to tell you anything. I can just show you.”

  “Ezra, I need another blood bad,” Von requested as Ezra stood.

  Ezra left to grab a blood bag and my phone from wherever it had landed, giving me a moment to calm down in the hot water with Von. The heat was staying in my body longer this time, which dialed down my fear a few notches. Von played with the hairs at the base of my neck, as if there was no tension in the room, as if we were just old pals who sat around watching the Brady Bunch on a Sunday morning together. I kinda loved him for it.

  “I feel like the bottom’s about to drop, Peach. What’s the deal with your mum?”

  “She’s fun and tells great stories and can charm anyone. Bev’s also mentally ill. She isn’t the person Ezra thinks she is.” Von fished around in the water and held my hand to keep me from scratching it and breaking the skin. “Thanks.”

  “I love how highly you must think of me to try to tear open your skin when I can already smell your blood heating in the water. You smell…” He pressed his nose to my cheek and took in a long drag, closing his eyes in ecstasy. “Don’t cut yourself. I’m barely holding on, here. Distract me. Tell me about the drama.”

  I leaned up and kissed Von’s cheek, softening us both. “You don’t want to bite me. You care about me, and I care about you. Even when you lost yourself in the cage when you were trying to eat me, you found yourself enough to call for Danny when Mason got out of hand.”

  He craned his chin to look me in the eye. “You’re right. I do care about you. You’re my best friend, and I don’t say that about women. Total waste of a great rack, if you ask me.”

  I clung to him in the water, needing something immovable to hold onto through my valley of vulnerability.

  16

  Macaroni and Cheese

  When Ezra rejoined us, he gave us a look that was one of a father taking in the tenor of a heated moment he’d interrupted between his daughter and her guy. Only he hadn’t, and was just jumping to conclusions. He handed Von a blood bag, and then set down a fresh outfit for me, and one for Von. I couldn’t not like Ezra; he was above and beyond kind, serving when he didn’t have to and anticipating needs out of sheer thoughtfulness. “I’m ready to listen, October.”

  I took a deep breath before shattering his world. “You want to know who Bev is? I took the sagrado stone. I snuck into her trailer when she wasn’t there and took it. She was using it as a doorstop, and it was buried under a mountain of crap. Bev’s a hoarder, Ezra. She edged Allie, Ollie and me out when we were kids. Ollie had to seal our bedroom door shut to keep her from putting trash in our room, and to keep the bugs from crawling all over us while we slept.” I watched Ezra’s distrust grow and his eyes widen. “Bev lives in a house of garbage that she can’t part from. It’s a sickness I can’t fix. Somehow she knows if one thing in her hoard is missing, and she’ll come scream at me first thing if she suspects something’s gone. Play the voicemail. She doesn’t love us; she loves her stuff.” I felt the need to add the defense of, “She’s not a bad person; she just has a problem, is all.”

  Ezra shook his head, so confused at the barrage of new information that he simply obeyed instead of responding.

  Von finished off the blood bag just as the voicemail started up. He was able to hold me without wanting to eat me, which was a good thing. I hadn’t had someone to hold me while Bev went off on me in years, and cherished the rock Von was for me in that moment. I closed my eyes as Bev’s voice sounded through the bathroom on speakerphone. Her sinister tone gave me a sick feeling in my gut. My mouth wanted to apologize to Bev over and over, but I kept my lips pressed firmly shut.

  “It was you, and I know it! You snuck in here and stole my doorstop. How would you like it if I stole something from your perfect life, you fat little freak! Give me back the rock! It’s mine! You can get your own doorstop with all your rich nursing money you don’t deserve. You never buy anything! Don’t you know what I could do with your paycheck? I could buy all sorts of treasures to make your place nicer. Just give me a hundred dollars, and I’ll show you how great your house could look.”

  Her tone dipped again to that snake-like place I hated. My stomach turned, and the familiar tightness in my chest resurfaced when Bev’s recorded voice laid into me further. “You don’t need that money. I put a roof over your head for eleven years before you abandoned me! You owe me rent! All three of you do! I’m your mother, and you should chip in! Give me back my rock!” she yelled, causing Ezra to jump. “I know it was you who stole it. Allie’s off whoring herself to who knows what kind of lowlife, Ollie’s gone to make money in New York and keep it all for himself! Your brother is the greediest bastard alive! You’re the only one left, so I know it was you! When I find you, I’ll take the price of that rock outta your hide, girl! Don’t think I won’t beat that rock outta you! I’ve had that doorstop longer than I’ve had you! It’s more mine than you are!”

  The machine cut off her tirade. “You can erase the message,” I told Ezra, who fumbled with my phone to simply turn the whole mess off.

  Ezra was pale and horrified as he looked up at me. “What was that?”

  “You asked me to get the sagrado stone, so I did. Bev doesn’t know what it is; she just uses it as a doorstop. That’s what happens when I move something in her trailer, which I never do. Ollie did a couple years ago on one of his visits. Bev thought it was me, and she beat me something awful.” I shuddered at the memory. “But she can’t knock me around anymore. I know how to defend myself now.”

  “Stop it,” Von said to me, separating my hands I hadn’t realized were scratching each other. “Here, scratch me. Will that help?”

  I tried his idea, but it didn’t have the same effect. It helped a little, but not as much. “It’s not the same. It only feels better when it hurts. I can’t explain it right.”

  “Hurt me, then. I can’t take it when you scratch yourself.”

  “But I don’t like it when you’re hurting,” I admitted.

  Von draped one of my arms around his shoulders so I couldn’t injure myself. “Well, then we’re in quite the predicament.”

  “I don’t understand. She must know about the sagrado stone’s power to guard it so fiercely,” Ezra commented, staring at my phone as if it had lied to him. “Beverly isn’t like that. She’s funny and kindhearted.”

  “Trust me, she doesn’t know about the stone or Terraway. She’s like that with everything. When Allie took a box of macaroni and cheese once when we were hungry, Bev locked us out of the trailer for the night. It was December.” I remembered that night well. Sandy, the pit bull next door had nudged us toward his owner’s house, but as usual, no one was home. Oll
ie was firm that we weren’t the type of people to break into someone’s home and steal their food, no matter how much Sandy seemed to insist we were welcome there.

  “No. No, that’s not possible. Bev’s a good person. She’s kind to Mariang,” Ezra protested, though I could see the sick feeling rising up in him, too. He’d been had, and he was starting to see the cracks in the perfection, too.

  I flipped through the highlights of that awful night in a quiet voice. “Allie cried and said she was never going to eat another bite of food, so Ollie and I had to talk her down from starving herself again. It was snowing, and we knew we couldn’t sleep outside. Ollie carried me all the way to the school in my pink footie pajamas. He and Allie broke in, and we slept together in the women’s locker room. We took showers, ate apples and bananas from the school’s cafeteria, and pretended we were camping to try and cheer Allie up. I remember watching her eat her apple to make sure she finished it, to make sure she didn’t starve herself again. She was always so thin. It was scary.” I closed my eyes to shut out the horrified looks from the guys. “Bev’s a lot of fun, but she doesn’t know how to take care of people. She’s sick, not mean. There’s a difference between someone who can’t help themselves and someone who can. Bev can’t.” I looked up at Von’s angry expression. “So that’s why Ollie was yelling on the phone this morning. He gets scared when he doesn’t know where I’m at, when he thinks Bev’s got her hooks in me and he can’t do anything to stop it.”

  “I… If you’ll excuse me. I seem to’ve…” Ezra patted his breast pockets for who knows what and stood, completely at a loss. He made to exit, but then stopped, stalwart in his frustration. “I need more proof. I believe you, but if I’m going to talk to Beverly about any of this, I need more than your word against hers.”

  I nodded. “Sure. Call Ollie. He’s my first speed dial. Ask him about the coat hangers. That’s a good story.”

  Ezra dialed the number, and my heart nearly broke when Ollie answered in a panic on speakerphone. “October? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I yelled. I’ve been leaving you messages to tell you how awful I feel about the whole thing, and now your mailbox is full.”